Humorous (Never-ending) Cause & Effect

Life is full of cause and effect.  However, the humor behind some cause and effect became very real to me the other night as I struggled with a simple household chore.

Several months ago, when I purchased my new puppy, I decided I needed to immediately go out and buy some area rugs for my living room.  My thinking stemmed from "new mom" alarm about the puppy constantly slip-sliding on the hardwood floor.  That alarm was further fed by the evil, nasty collection of information easily found on none other than the internet.  While one day perusing the information offerings on raising large breed dogs, I came across this web site that is purportedly maintained by a very knowledgeable and respectable "expert."  Without question, I classified her as such, and as I read on, I gathered that it is a really terrible thing for large breed dogs to do pretty much anything on a hardwood surface.  It seemed,  from reading, that even a full-body, inflatable suit would not protect them from permanent joint damage as a result of hardwood floors.  What didn't help me in processing this information was that my puppy had already started to mimic the ways of a child on a Slip n Slide with each entry into the living room space.  His legs would do just about anything but remain underneath of him, so within hours of finishing this very informative reading, I headed out to buy the first decent set of area rugs I could find.  Unfortunately, Wheeling does not offer very posh options in this area, so I hit Target for their best offerings.  I was actually very pleased with what I found there...until weeks after the purchase. 

In the next phase of this cause and effect scenario, the dog issue was pretty much solved.  He quickly learned to seek carpeted territory before coming to a stop on the floor, and his next conclusion was that if he was running too quickly to stop on the carpeted area, he would go with plan B, which was to cannonball onto his bed.  Problem solved?  Not exactly.

I am a lifelong lover of vacuuming.  One of the quickest ways to feel like your living space is clean is to vacuum.  Following this desire, I got out the Oreck not too long after laying the area rugs.  Since the area rugs are wool, my vacuum quickly became an offering plate for wool piling.  I was able to remove all of the wool fibers pretty easily, but not long after, the tumbleweed gatherings of wool carpet fibers made their first appearance.  At this point in time, I'm doing a full house collection of wool tumbleweed about every other day (if I can stand to wait that long!).  Even though I never did vacuum the rugs again with my Oreck, it collects all fibers in the rest of the house, so then when I try to vacuum the bedroom carpet, which is plush, all of the beautiful balls of wool fiber stay behind on the floor, which may look even worse than straight out dirt on the floor. 

And so, as I was doing this routine vacuuming in my bedroom over the weekend, I laughed to myself.  I followed my impulse to buy a dog.  That led me to researching best practices in caring for him.  That led me to this stupid web site, which led me to buy terrible wool rugs from Target.  And the purchase of rugs led me to vacuum their nappy surface, which left my vacuum infested with wool.  Because my vacuum is now infested with wool, I will probably have to buy a new vacuum so that the constant presence of wool piling on the plush carpet doesn't drive me completely insane.  What I'm wondering is what will come after that?  It seems impossible that the purchase of a new vacuum won't cause some unforeseeable result, but what could that possibly be?  All I can hope is that the outcome brings me a little laugh as the outcomes have to this point. 

Playing in the Dirt

I'm convinced that the desire to grow stuff in the earth is passed down through generations.  I had it coming from both sides of my family.  I'm sure this stretches back much further than I can recall, but I fondly recall the pride in my Pap Brown's eyes as he talked about his peach trees and flower and vegetable beds.  My dad also wields a green thumb.  Every summer, he nudges along beautifully full hanging baskets and a bustling tomato garden.  This year, it is my turn to enter the unforgiving waters of gardening obsession. 

Part of this transition, for me, has been moving into a single family house rather than apartment dwelling.  The other part is renting that home from someone who has given me free reign to do what I want, when I want, and however I want to do it.  Granted, it would be amazing to have just a little more space to live within, but the sprawling yard and freedom to plant and beautify is great!

We had limited ourselves to tomato plants and hanging baskets--the basics--because we lack important stuff like gardening tools to prepare ground for gardening.  However, last weekend, after I finished cutting grass, the amazingly gracious neighbor had her tiller out and offered not only the tiller but her tilling services to expand our possibilities!  Now, we have two plots which will house tomato plants. cucumber plants, pepper plants, basil and a small assortment of zinnia flowers!  Thank you, kind neighbor! 

Pictured above is our fledgling tomato plants and our yet-to-be-planted flower and other veggie/herb assortment.  I greatly anticipate tracking progress throughout the summer.  There's so much to love about planting--playing in the dirt, chatting about gardening with neighbors, playing in the dirt and tracking progress--that I can't imagine having had to wait any longer to get started.    Good, clean fun to promote good, clean eating. 

Moms: Life is Good

In honor of the approaching Mother's Day holiday this weekend, I wanted to post some thoughts on motherhood and what it has meant for me to have a loving mother in my life.  I am taking the time to do this partially because I know a couple of people who have lost their mothers over the last few weeks, and so it has made me stop and reflect on what an intense and comforting presence a mom is in any child's life, and particularly how fortunate I am to have my mother. 

I want to say that I think the role of motherhood rates up there in complexity and intensity alongside the roles of the brave men and women who protect our country via the military.  Being a mom is such an important role because there's a very good chance that no other figure will prove as large in a child's life, and that leading presence carries over into adulthood as well.  As kids, I think we all went through times of wondering why our mothers were fixated on making life impossible.  But, one of the most staggering realizations in life is that moment of realizing what pressures and responsibility sat on the shoulders of our mom's as they navigated those times and also what sacrifices they have made in order to give their very best.  These realizations, for me at least, only came when I reached a time in life when I couldn't personally achieve the highest sense of satisfaction in relation to some responsibility due to variables completely out of my control.  Sometimes, the world can make things pretty difficult.  So, what I've learned to realize is that my mom started working a job that demanded 24 hours a day of every day and that there were no holidays off (like the Christmas I decided to go ice skating and split my chin open, only to have to make a trip to the ER for stitches) or vacations from that job (because vacations still required constant concern and regard for us three kids).  Her job began 3+ decades ago, and she still works at it every day. 

More recently, as a result of reflecting on the losses I've witnessed, I also started to think about my mom being the hub of our family.  Rather than taking the holidays off, she works overtime to provide yummy food and a clean gathering space for all of the members of the family.  She exudes an excitement surrounding menu planning and such for these gatherings, just like they are something we just initiated yesterday--rather than 30 years ago.  And what brings her this joy is the simplicity of people simply being--all in one space at one time.  As a child, attending these gatherings for the last 30 years, I've never been able to really understand the power behind such a simple pleasure.  The nature of this pleasure further demonstrates how motherhood is a transformation of self.  Completely.  And so, just as I have done in so many other ways, I have decided that I want to learn how to participate more fully in this fun.  I've always been there, but more in a passive role.  So, more recently, I've started to become somewhat of an apprentice, learning the ways of simple family pleasures.  Compliments, again, of my mom.

And so, as I close today, I leave you with this thought.  As you approach Mother's Day this weekend, take a moment to reflect on the full impact that accompanies being a mom and take another moment to appreciate the transformation your own mom had to endure in that transformation.  If nothing else, it's an opportunity to gain some perspective and appreciation.  Best case scenario, you will have the opportunity to give your mom a hug and let her know you get it. 

When Evolution Knocks...Answer

Evolution, as a concept, has been an issue of debate since the debut of Darwin's theory of natural selection, etc.  That was 1859.  Now, we're in 2012, more than a century and a half later, and we're still creatures of habit.  We all still cringe at all anticipated change--in thoughts, social norms, routines, philosophy, etc.  As evidenced by the current political climate, surrounding gay marriage, we obviously lack the evolutionary skill skill of acceptance in lieu of change in some areas. 

Over time, we humans have managed to exclude various social groupings of people.  I have never been able to wrap my mind around this because unless someone is personally hurting me with their decisions, actions, thoughts, then I feel I have no right to tell them what to do or how to do it.  I realize that most issues of exclusion, discrimination or other forms of segregation grow out of moral and/or religious beliefs, and this is a very slippery slope to trek.  However, I also wish people could realize that while we each have a subjective reality that we live, this reality can never even border on a complete understanding of everyone else's experiences and realities.  I could explain to you my thinking behind anything and everything, but I could not begin to explain to you why my neighbor makes choices as he does, nor does he owe me that explanation.  Now, take this microcosm example and throw it up onto the macrocosm scale.  The world has more than 20 organized religions.  And don't forget about the numerous sects within each.  Needless to say, just like my neighbor and I are not going to do things the same, nor are the people who believe in the traditions of all of these different religions.   

My confusion, though, lies in any one person or group of people working to proscribe the moral acts of others, thereby restricting personal freedom.  By allowing a group of people, our fellow human beings, the right to marry, we are not forcing anyone to do anything they do not want to do.  We're giving people the right to do what they want to do.  By giving women the right to vote, did we remove any honor or integrity from the male vote?  As far as I can tell, we did not.  We simply expanded the privileges of personal freedom for a group of members in our society.

So, today, I tip my hat to President Obama for respecting the positive powers of evolution.  I don't look at him and see a flawless president.  But, I do look at him and see a thoughtful and compassionate human being who obviously has the capacity to commit to progress in his own personal thoughts and beliefs, and I can respect this.  A great college professor who I had the pleasure of taking for theology class would spend the first portion of class, discussing her own take on the assigned readings.  Then, she'd open it up to the rest of the class, always making sure to say the following:  "Now, I want to hear what you thought, and remember, I can be convinced."  This is the only line from a professor that I recall to this day, word for word.  Why?  Because it was the most peaceful and respectful way of encouraging all of us, not only those who agreed with her interpretation, to participate and share our thoughts.  It also set a standard in that classroom.  Diversity in thought was not only accepted, it was encouraged.  Change and differences are inevitable, so perhaps we can begin to embrace them rather than letting them so powerfully divide us.

Nature vs. Nurture

Have you ever had an experience that made you ponder the whole theory of nature vs. nurture?  I surely did this week.  I promise to cut back on the dog-themed blog posts sometime soon, but I can't help it that 100% of my time outside of work is spent, right now, caring for Tucker.

I will begin by saying that when I brought Tucker home, he was a blank slate.  For the first 24 hours, he slept.  After that, he looked at me with his adorable brown eyes, begging me to show him the way.  So, I took that opportunity to bond with him and also reassure him that this is a great freakin' world to experience.  From that time on, we've become best buds.  I notice him so often, when he's unsure of anything, looking at me for the "it's okay."  He, of course, plays it cool and doesn't freak out regardless, but he appreciates the "all clear."  In any case, my point is that he was like a new container of play dough, just waiting to be shaped and molded into his adult self.  Now, fast forward to a couple of nights ago...

It's nightly ritual for us to take a walk around the neighborhood.  One of our first stops is just down the street at the fence of Rufus' house.  Rufus is a chocolate lab who, if not given the chance, can definitely be taken as a killer dog.  He has the vicious bark and when his 100+ pounds come bounding toward the fence, I will admit alarm bells go off.  But, he and Tucker have become great friends.  They kiss through the fence and do a couple of laps back and forth, chasing one another.  Then, we continue our walk.  This is the typical for Tucker.  Whether human or animal or inanimate object, he loves to visit and socialize.  So, Tuesday night, we proceeded on from Rufus' house for our normal jaunt.

As we finished the walk, we passed a house that we pass every night with a fenced yard.  It's also just down the street, and we always see the two dogs that live there having a total fit when we pass--it doesn't matter whether we're a foot away or on the opposite side of the street.  One of the two dogs has consistently freaked me out because it's a Yorkie or some terrier mix and is about 80% hairless.  Well, as we passed, Tucker took off towards the fence, which is not uncommon for him, but the 80% hairless terrier mix stuck its head through the fence and bit Tucker's cute little black nose!!!  Tucker was yiping and making a scene before my mind could even catch up to what was happening.  He turned around to look up at me (the "is it okay?" look), and all I could see was blood streaming from the left side of his nose.  It was, literally, terrifying.  As I bent down to care for him and calm him, my friend approached the house to get information on the dog.  When I stood up, my shirt and shorts were covered in blood.  The good news is, with the advice of the vet, we got Tucker on antibiotics and a bit of salve for his nose, and with that, his nose is healing nicely (although every time he looks at me, the bright pink in contrast with the black on his nose breaks my heart).

After having this experience, I've been pondering how this dog turned out this way.  I guess I assume most dogs (or baby animals) start out like Tucker did.  A blank slate, waiting to figure out how to approach this life.  If this is the case, then I must think that the humans in charge of nurturing must be to blame for this aggressive and ferocious attitude.  But, even arriving at that, I wonder about the nature of those people that would have that effect.  Who doesn't want to squeeze and hug and teach a young animal who will be their companion for 15 or more years to come?