In honor of the approaching Mother's Day holiday this weekend, I wanted to post some thoughts on motherhood and what it has meant for me to have a loving mother in my life. I am taking the time to do this partially because I know a couple of people who have lost their mothers over the last few weeks, and so it has made me stop and reflect on what an intense and comforting presence a mom is in any child's life, and particularly how fortunate I am to have my mother.
I want to say that I think the role of motherhood rates up there in complexity and intensity alongside the roles of the brave men and women who protect our country via the military. Being a mom is such an important role because there's a very good chance that no other figure will prove as large in a child's life, and that leading presence carries over into adulthood as well. As kids, I think we all went through times of wondering why our mothers were fixated on making life impossible. But, one of the most staggering realizations in life is that moment of realizing what pressures and responsibility sat on the shoulders of our mom's as they navigated those times and also what sacrifices they have made in order to give their very best. These realizations, for me at least, only came when I reached a time in life when I couldn't personally achieve the highest sense of satisfaction in relation to some responsibility due to variables completely out of my control. Sometimes, the world can make things pretty difficult. So, what I've learned to realize is that my mom started working a job that demanded 24 hours a day of every day and that there were no holidays off (like the Christmas I decided to go ice skating and split my chin open, only to have to make a trip to the ER for stitches) or vacations from that job (because vacations still required constant concern and regard for us three kids). Her job began 3+ decades ago, and she still works at it every day.
More recently, as a result of reflecting on the losses I've witnessed, I also started to think about my mom being the hub of our family. Rather than taking the holidays off, she works overtime to provide yummy food and a clean gathering space for all of the members of the family. She exudes an excitement surrounding menu planning and such for these gatherings, just like they are something we just initiated yesterday--rather than 30 years ago. And what brings her this joy is the simplicity of people simply being--all in one space at one time. As a child, attending these gatherings for the last 30 years, I've never been able to really understand the power behind such a simple pleasure. The nature of this pleasure further demonstrates how motherhood is a transformation of self. Completely. And so, just as I have done in so many other ways, I have decided that I want to learn how to participate more fully in this fun. I've always been there, but more in a passive role. So, more recently, I've started to become somewhat of an apprentice, learning the ways of simple family pleasures. Compliments, again, of my mom.
And so, as I close today, I leave you with this thought. As you approach Mother's Day this weekend, take a moment to reflect on the full impact that accompanies being a mom and take another moment to appreciate the transformation your own mom had to endure in that transformation. If nothing else, it's an opportunity to gain some perspective and appreciation. Best case scenario, you will have the opportunity to give your mom a hug and let her know you get it.
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