Scary Yet Satisfying

I've spent a majority of my evening putting a huge number of books on Borders' shelves; thus, I have had hours on end to reflect on my current state-of-mind. For the first time in a couple of months, that thinking actually made me feel very fulfilled and happy with my life, and it's the smallest of things that have made me decide that I am one lucky person. My mom repeated to me today the fact that she's not sure how I made this move because she's so upset over smaller changes, and I couldn't respond to her really. Why? Because I'm not totally sure what has gottten me through this experience other than a drive to live as much as I can. Here are the things that I'm most grateful for at the end of today:

1.) I'm going to a great school that was one of my top picks for an English master's program--the only thing I could see myself doing for at least the next two years.

2.) Today, I drove one of Madonna's friends and co-workers to the airport. Due to construction on 476, I had to take 95 and 76 to get back to Bryn Mawr. At first, I thought this was a horrible thing. But, then I followed signs on a route I had never taken before, and when I made it to 76-W and caught a glimpse of the Philadelphia skyline, I realized two different things: I love simply following signs to get where I need to go, and I love living here. I am proud to be a resident of Philadelphia.

3.) My job. I know I've talked about Borders a lot on here, so I won't dwell on this. But, almost every time I work, learn something new about my position as a bookseller or about another one of my co-workers. Today was a day I did both, and it made me, again, feel like this new life is finally solidifying into a real life rather than an extended vacation.

4.) Peace a Pizza & Hope's Cookies dinner breaks. I had two slices tonight--one bacon cheeseburger and one white--along with a white chocolate chunk cookie. I've had a combination of pizza and cookie for my last few shifts, and I'm not tired of it...yet. In fact, I kind of look forward to it.

5.) Upcoming Halloween party. This Sunday, I'm hosting my very first party. I think those who are gathering are a fun crew, and I look very much forward to showing them some hospitality and just taking some time out to enjoy their company.

Overall, things are shaping up very well. And I guess in answer to my mom's question, I would have to say that moments like all of the ones from today and all days--getting lost and finding my way, having new interactions with others here, and seeing, objectively, what past relationships really mean--are what make this huge change worth it. Everyday is a challenge, an adventure, and a lesson or lessons learned--scary yet satisfying.