Chance Meeting and Life Lesson

Last weekend, we were buzzing around, taking care of all of the normal chores of a normal Saturday when we decided to stop at Wendy's for a quick bite before continuing on with errands.  Upon entering, we found a family of four at the counter, ordering, and one elderly man leaning against the railings just before the counter.  So, we stepped into line behind the older gentleman, not really thinking about it.  Within a minute or two, a conversation began that would leave us both in contemplative silence. 

The older man, who we came to know as Jack, turned to us to let us know he was with the family at the counter and that we could step in front of him.  But, as we quickly found out, that wasn't all Jack wanted to say.  He began to explain that the family of four was in town from Nebraska, and then he started to take in several sharp breaths as he explained that they were in town because his wife of 71 years had passed away the Tuesday preceding.  They had just buried her the day before we were meeting Jack.  Fighting back a total flood of tears, with the sharp breaths continuing, he explained that his wife had been sick for three years prior but that he had made sure to take very good care of her.  He said that she didn't always like the visiting nurses, so he would have the nurses teach him to do what they needed to do and he would then perform the care.  He went on to say that if she saw him in the shape he was in, meaning in tears, she would say, "Jackson, you pull yourself together!"  He told us, as if 71 years is not impressive enough or enough of a lifetime, that they had also dated for 4 years before marrying. 

We ate in silence after parting ways with Jack.  It was difficult to shake the lessons and humbling that came with such a conversation.  At some point, I scoured the previous week's obituaries to find the death notice for Jack's wife.  Her name was Jessie, and she was 90 years old.  So, she spent 3/4 of her life with Jack.  That's pretty amazing.  The bottom line for him, less than a week after her parting, was that he missed her.  But, while she probably would have told him to pull himself together, I wanted to say to him (but failed to find the words as my heart ached for him) that he didn't have to pull himself together.  I wanted him to know that part of the reason we were led to Wendy's was to help him carry that grief.  I wanted to tell him he need not be ashamed of his sorrow and grief.

After much thought about this chance encounter, I realized something.  Initially, I felt compelled to see this meeting as something that happened so that we could help Jack.  What I believe now is that it was really the other way around.  It was a meeting that taught me so much about love, relationships, human connection, purpose.  So, we sent a card to Jack to say it was a privilege to meet him and that we send our best as he finds his way through this time because Jack taught us more than years of life could possibly teach.