To Be Continued

There's lots for me to be writing about; however, there is no time for me to do it now. I will pick back up in mid-December. Thanks for those who have checked in and/or left some comments lately.

Song of Sara

To continue with my latest obsession with people and relationships...(this will end soon--I promise). As opposed to Walt Whitman's famous Song of Myself, I think a Song of Sara is only appropriate.

I have to do a shoutout to Sara for several reasons. Most of all, though, because her trip away from Philly this past weekend allowed me the opportunity to see how much she has become a part of my life out here and how much this means to me. While I know that I have established a larger family of Borders friends, I know that not every friend is created equal. So, my best comparison for how Sara has come to be incorporated into my life is to compare her to a family member. I think everybody needs a little family everywhere they go, and I think I have been lucky enough to meet someone out here who totally fulfills that need for me. I feel at ease being myself in every situation, without concern for being judged, and I know that, no matter what, I can count on her. It's really an incredible thing because it changes my whole attitude about if I'll survive on my own. I no longer worry that I'm on my own--because I'm not.

I think the fact that everytime I thought about how I missed having her around this weekend, I also had an overwhelming feeling of hope that she was having nothing but fun goes to show the imprint she's left. The self-absorbed, selfish majority of me usually completely fails to worry about the needs of others--on impulse. I usually have the insight to readjust that impulse to include the needs of others, but I think it's a sign of the presence of a true friend when you automatically jump to concern for them as well as yourself.

To prevent any further digressions, I just want to wrap this up by saying Philly would not be Philly without Sara and sitting in a little pizza/sandwich joint like Pizzi's is like fine dining when accompanied by her awesome self. Thanks, Sara.

Connections

I have made my way through life, continuously meeting new folks and totally appreciating those connections. However, I've been pondering whether or not there has been a moment when I suddenly realized that those connections are really what this is all about. After much thought, I think it had to be during my trip overseas last summer (2004). My friend, Mikey, and I did some real soul searching over there...both being very self-reflective and expressive. So, we decided early into our trip that we'd create a theme of sorts, threading everything together with an awesome Beatles tune--"All You Need is Love." At random moments, one of us would break into this song; this usually happened when we were seeing something new and fantastic. It was sort of like our code language for, "Dude, this is sweet." The picture below is undoubtedly one of the examples of these moments. We took a day trip to Northern Ireland, and we were able to stand at this point and see Scotland...how cool is that? But, I believe this is when I realized that a series of moments such as this one is what makes life. So, allowing those moments to soak down to your soul is so important. One of my favorite authors, Virginia Woolf, meditated on this very idea and concluded that she thought life was all about this series of apparently disjunct moments; thus, her focus on stream of consciousness.

I can't help but feel that these moments have to have some sort of thread moving through them. I'm beginning to feel, very strongly, that this journey is sort of about seeking out the essence of that thread.

What got me thinking about this? Well, I talked with a dear friend last night who has just made the move to Phoenix, AZ. She's feeling so many of the same feelings that I've been experiencing over the past months, and like several other instances of commanality, which helped form our friendship, we're able to connect on the deepest level. I am convinced that we were placed in one another's sphere for very important reasons...so this helps answer for me why, eight or more years ago, we crossed paths. My goal from here on out is to form the same meaningful bond with those who I meet and really click with here on out. This is what makes life right. It's not about gaining power and glory...it's about sharing those connections with others that make each of us human. And now I must go forge bonds with the delightful Borders customers who provide my job security...

Simple Twist of Fate

While I stole my title from an old Bob Dylan song, I'm pretty sure it really has little or nothing to do with Bob's idea. But, it's a good phrase that fits my purposes tonight. I'm learning very quickly that things change...very easily. For the past several years, I had a whole blueprint planned for my life. Throughout that entire time, I also advocated living life to its fullest. I wasn't being a hypocrite, but I think I did rule out any twists of fate.

One major twist of fate, of course, is what comes as a result of moving to a whole new region of the United States. It's been a truly magical time because I seem to have much more flexibility in my thinking than before...and I haven't made it a point to improve in that area--it's just happened on its own. I guess, now that I think about it, this could be a major way to survive. After all, a lot of survival is based on one's ability to maneuver through life's adventures and misadventures.

The biggest thing that has changed for me is learning to let myself live a little bit in the sense of a social life and focusing on who I am. I promise not to get too much deeper than that, but it's the truth. It's like a huge incidence of inversion. Whereas school has always been the #1 in my life, I'm learning that that may not be my real desire at this point. I have so much to learn about the world and about myself. So, I've decided to start focusing on that while still holding up my schooling and work. I think both of those areas are greatly influencing my changes, so it only makes sense to remain within both of them.

This may not come across in my blog quite as profoundly as it came across to me, but then again I have known myself for nearly 24 years now. But, I guess things change all of the time, and I'm no exception to that. I guess my first lesson in all of this is not to underestimate the significance of any moment because my greatest awakenings seem to pop up on me at the most subtle of those moments and with the most unlikely people. I know I'm going to continue to prod at all of these new developments, though, because this is the happiest I have ever been in my life...ever. Funny how naturally things unfold and work out when I'm not even attempting to wrestle for the control.

Gimme a Break

Most have already had to listen to me gripe about a certain customer from last night. But, this was not an isolated incident. There are so many repeat offenders when it comes to coupon theft that it's insane...especially here, in one of the wealthiest suburbs around. In addition to my coupon customer, though, I will also detail a couple of other incidents from the store that follow along the same lines. Why am I interested in doing this? Kind of for the same reason as Smokey the Bear appears time and again in ads and on television..."Because only you can prevent ripping off retail stores."

So Borders placed a slew of coupons at the registers that were good starting yesterday. And all was well with that for a majority of my shift. As I drifted on to and off of register throughout the night, the customers would look up at me with a gleam in their eyes anytime I offered them one of the coupons if they had not already seen them. In my last hour of work, though, there was a woman who came through with, let's say, 10-15 items, ranging from CDs, Burt's Beeswax, and magazines. Well, there was one general coupon I had been pushing for 30% off of any one regularly priced item. The others were combo deals--like buy 2 jazz or blues CDs, get one free. So this woman approaches and wants to split her rather small order into like 5 once she starts reading the other coupons...and she does this because I've told her she can only use one per vist and/or transaction. Then, as the line started to grow and people grew upset, she had the nerve to ask me which coupons would get her the best deal. To this, I wanted to reply, "Well, since you're already abusing the system, would you like for me to call corporate and confer with them so that you can be sure to rob us blind?" I mean this woman just completely blew my mind. I rarely lose my patience in front of people...I'm more the type to feel very upset with them but wait until they've left to just vent and feel better. With this woman, I was convinced that that pattern would not persist, so I called a manager up to finish the transaction. I could not take this woman--her arrogant, inconsiderate, oblivious self!

Another customer called yesterday, inquiring about a DVD collection. And he figured that it'd be the same price in-store as online; however, what he doesn't realize is online prices are generally lower than store prices because there is not a staff to worry about, etc. But, he was a little taken aback that we would not honor the online price. I told him about the 30% coupon, and he agreed to come in and buy the store copy with the coupon, but it was such a struggle to get him out of his "Save me money!" mode. Truly incredible.

All-in-all, I understand the human affinity for coupons because I'm a starving student...I use them when I'm not too lazy to do so. But I get stuck on the fact that I struggle to get from pay to pay whereas these people choose to buy an IPod at the registers--as an impulse buy, all $200-300 worth. Thus, I only wish for people to use coupons fairly...so as not to ruin the point of them.

Off My Back

After spending several days in bed with a fall sinus infection, I'm not exactly sure where to begin on my blogging backtrack. I guess I could discuss a topic that I haven't gone that in-depth with thus far but which I had a great amount of time to think about as I was stuck on my back for the past days.

The past five years of my life have been spent trying to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. After two years in the medical field--nursing--I decided that could be eliminated from my list. I have great respect for those in that field, but I was not cut out for it. I decided on literature as my major because I have always loved reading. Why? Well, it's not so much the idea of reading, itself, because I'm just as lazy as most Americans in that taking the time to sit down and read can be quite a challenge for me. But, once I make myself do that, I love it that a whole other world opens up to me--or several for that matter. I have probably learned most in the area of interpersonal relations from reading; if you think about it, that's what literature is all about--a series of human (or animal, etc.) interactions, conflicts, and resolutions. There's a lot to be learned about psychology via literature. So, it's kind of like double dipping.

As I was stuck in bed, I realized the only things at my disposal were a) my books and b) my computer. But, feeling as bad as I did, I didn't even have enough energy to really write emails or throw tile online. So, I picked up my books, and I'm really glad I did because I was able to rediscover that passion that has been covered up by all of these recent emotions surrounding my move and life changes. And I also realized that this is something that can be a part of me no matter where I go, what career I choose, or who I become. I think this is a good thing...I guess this is part of creating your self.