Milestones in Life's Marathon

I'm turning thirty this year. And you know the saying, a woman over thirty is more likely to get hit by an A bomb than find a man. (Fanny Fink)

Birthday milestones are everywhere you turn.  You're either hitting your double digit years, becoming old enough to drive, old enough to claim independence, old enough to drink alcohol or old enough to know you're getting old.  This year will mark one in my series of milestones, with this one being my 30th.  The funny thing about turning 30 is that there really isn't anything ground-breaking that accompanies its arrival.

Some say that by 30, one should be more settled into life.  Married.  Raising a family.  Progressing in their career.  Others vehemently argue that 30 is just a continuation of the glorious 20s.  I have a feeling these beliefs are largely formulated around one's own experience and whether it was a good or bad one.  Regardless, it's a very fuzzy milestone.  At 21, no one can really argue about what you're supposed to be doing.  Get thee to the bar and order as many drinks (legally) as possible!  Just not the case with 30.  I think someone really needs to put together the "owner's manual" for 30. 

What am I supposed to be doing after I turn 30?  Should I be panicked that I'm not married, raising a family and following the favored, mainstream American path?  Am I going to feel more wise?  That's the lone theme I could find in researching various reflections on turning 30.  I'm about to learn a lot of important lessons on life.  And here I thought I'd learned a lot to this point!  I guess the concept of learning more sends a shiver down my spine.  Between my own reality and the onslaught of reality television, I'm just not sure how much more reality and lessons in life my soul can handle.

And so, as my 30th birthday nears, I guess I will sit back, 3-D glasses in hand, and prepare myself for the new wave of reality that is about to hit.  I resolve to take all that life has to offer in stride and maybe compose the owner's manual for turning 30.     

Our Dance with Time

I realize seasons are geographically relative.  However, as an East Coast/Midwest fixture, I cannot help but appeal to my own sensibilities.  In the case of the holiday season, I find it somewhat entertaining that the warmth of the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays and new year fall at the deadest time of the year.  Just as the natural world decides to break for a brief sabbatical, ceasing to provide us the necessary sunshine and warm temperatures, we humans decide it's time for celebration, travels near and far for time together and a fresh start.  Amidst the cold and dreary backdrop of winter, we engage in retail therapy (an extended and largely guilt-free session given that we're often buying for others), culinary indulgences and many other forms of self-satisfaction. 

Is it possible that this is mere coincidence?  As a 29 year veteran of the wintertide, I must admit that I think it's fascinating and am not sure what this long, dreary season would be like without the predictable break from school/work, gift giving and receiving and, perhaps most of all, the new-found hope of the new year.  As the days and years seem to pass more quickly in pace, with the growth of technology and its expansion into virtually all areas of life, perhaps this time is the perfect time to stop and appreciate our origins and the time when not everything was quite so straightforward.  A time when stopping for reflection on the meaning of the present moment was one of the few options.  Before Facebook, iTunes, Netflix, Twitter or any number of the other more recent entries on our great stage demanded constant attention. 

While sometimes an intimidating dance partner, time can also be a great motivator, an inspiration and, more than anything, a great gift.  So, during this winter season, my hope is to fall better into step with time.  After three eventful decades, I figure it's the least I can do. 

Hibernation: Not Just for the Wild Things

hibernation (n.) to pass the winter in a dormant or torpid state.  

What can we learn from the world of hibernating animals, such as bears, bats and chipmunks?  They call it a wrap for the winter months and enter into a sleep state that could fool some into thinking they're dead.  This natural means of survival during the extreme season(s) of the year is one of those phenomenons of nature that reminds us how amazing the natural order of things can be.  

While some humans can definitely enter into similar sleep states for various reasons, life seems to only continue to move faster and faster about the Earth for us.  So, perhaps it's worth considering the value of slowing down, allowing our bodies the proper care and downtime they need.  Also, it brings to the forefront the concept of life designed around necessity.  This seems an appropriate consideration as well since we oftentimes get mixed up in the fast pace of life, prioritizing work, social expectations and family expectations over the fundamental needs of our bodies.  Ironically, none of these other three priorities can even be a thought unless we have our health and well being.  

As we drift into another New Year, and the time for the year's resolutions comes, take a moment to think about all of the wildlife out there, yielding to the natural order, and consider doing so yourself.  In doing so, you're bound to find a happier, healthier balance as a new calendar begins.       

In Memoriam: Furry Lessons on Life

Meet Bella.  Bella was a loyal member of my family who came into my life early last fall and, sadly, departed last Friday.  Her brief but precious presence has left me with several new and beautiful insights about this life. 

Life is truly a miracle.  Bella suffered a terrible case of hepatitis/pancreatitis.  We're not positive what caused the issue and never will be.  But, in a very real way, Bella's struggle reminded me of how miraculous it is when our bodies operate properly and fully.  There is such an incredible balance and impeccably designed framework that maintains our every day on Earth. 

Life is connection.  Connections can be a double-edged sword.  They sustain us, foster happiness and lend meaning to our lives.  But, they can also result in extreme heartache and struggle.  A friend's words conjured up real meaning for me in the seemingly senseless loss of my connection with Bella.  "Just remember these things are part of life and ensure we experience the total depth of life as humans in our short time on this little blue marble."  So, connection is depth, and that depth carries through to the end, regardless of outcome.

Life is love.  When I think of this phrase, I think of what I learned about the symbolism of the cross in Christianity.  The vertical portion is about our relationship with God (or your choice of higher power).  The horizontal is about our relationships with one another.  This is the overarching meaning in life.  Know these relationships and support them with all the love you have to give.

Life is mercy.  Giving of ourselves what we can in order to lessen the loads of others is so important always.  But, as I look back at the times I've had to care for the sick, those times mark the pinnacle of purpose in this world.  In my own experience, I can say I've lost total sense of self and become consumed only by a concern for other.  Again, this can be a very painful experience, but also an incredibly meaningful one.       

Life is beauty.  I don't speak of this in a materialistic sense but more a philosophical or aesthetic sense.  Bella was a sample of God's amazing artistry in my eyes.  Her physical beauty was stunning.  But, even more, her gentle nature and elegant movements never ceased to catch my attention and remind me of how beautiful this life really is.   

And so I close with a heavy but humbled heart.  My hope is that many many others have the same opportunity to experience amazing and beautiful souls in this world.  In my view, this "little blue marble" sure has the potential to support a large number of them. 

What is the What

There's a fascinating work by Dave Eggers titled What is the What.  While the story, itself is an amazing tale of resilience, persistence and incredible resourcefulness, it's also a powerful account of what seemingly results from the human will to always choose the "what."  What is the what, you ask?  I can best explain it as what is commonly referred to as "the road less traveled."  This is a sweeping generalization, but hold onto it for the purpose of clarity. 

I've recently experienced a series of events that have made me stop and re-evaluate where I am and what I'm doing in life.  This is not at all uncommon and even less so when one speaks of a twenty-about-to-be-thirty-something.  In any case, my recent reflections have reminded me of the experience found in the beginning of Eggers' book.  In very watered down terms, a legend in the protagonist's village holds that their God offered cattle or the What as a gift at the beginning of time.  Instead of taking the cattle--the sure thing, the concrete beginning--the villagers chose the What.  The What is not defined, has no certainty about it and lacks the centering affect that the former traits can offer.  One could even venture to say that the choice of the What leaves the villagers with future troubles and civil unrest. 

There is a trend in our world to be innovative and "self-made (wo)men."  But, this cultural phenomenon can leave us, at times, wondering what exactly it is we're chasing after.  So, whether through meditation, writing or otherwise, it seems a good idea to explore this concept put forth in Eggers' book on a regular basis.  Perhaps it's even a good way to begin each morning...after all, how do we put one foot after the other day in and day out without knowing, personally, what is our what?  Think about it (and then pick up Eggers' book!).  

The Aesthetics of a Hometown

Growing up in a super small town with little entertainment and lots of time on my hands, I never thought I'd actually desire to live here as an adult...or even in the state for that matter.  But, as time has passed and my perspective has changed, I've quickly learned the value of waking up each morning and having the gift of looking out the window at the surrounding hills and what they carry into the early morning hours from the night that has passed.  The neighborhood that I grew up in is one of the prime spots to get a bird's eye view of the hills and valley, so it's made it quite difficult to live elsewhere, abandoning such amazing sights.  I'm positive I never considered this as a child or teen, so it's funny to me now that it means so much.  I've, on two occasions, left the region for educational and professional opportunities, but it's simply the aesthetics and accompanying peace that always brings me back.

The quiet and still of the mornings always beckon such a feeling of well being and balance.  Whether it's beautiful sunshine bathing the hilltops or solemn raindrops, quenching the earth's thirst, the morning is a time of appreciation and contentment.

The nighttime is not much different, except it will oftentimes offer dazzling colors or gentle patterns of twinkling stars.  The beauty of the sky and surroundings almost always causes the melodies of the highway to fade into the background or disappear.  So, whether from the busy East Coast, laid back West Coast, chill Midwest or various other geographies of the States, I would recommend the next time you're "home," you find a moment to fall madly in love with your surroundings.  In the busy world that is ours, I have found this to be one of the few ways to briefly make time stop and immerse myself in the stillness that is ours as well.

From Black Friday to Cyber Monday

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It's that time of year again...the holiday season.  Within a blink of an eye, the iconic turkey day has already passed.  And after a mere four weeks of time, Christmas will have done the same.  As I've settled into adulthood, I can't help but feel that the "fast forward-ness" of life only becomes more so around this time of year.  I oftentimes wonder if it was always this way for past generations as well.  When there weren't families of iGear to keep us distracted and countless opportunities to abandon quality time in the name of huge holiday savings, did the time fly quite as quickly?  I think this is worth investigating.

We humans are so good at creating debates of all kinds.  So, with this year's holiday season came the debate about whether it's reasonable for retailers to open on Thanksgiving night to start the crazed gift buying process.  I am of the mind in most cases that we all deserve the right to decide for ourselves what works and what doesn't, always with some thought about those around us.  However, I struggle with this one a bit because it seems to fit into the larger trends of consumerism and materialism, which seem to always only weaken the somewhat antiquated tradition of family and quality time.  The temptation to run out and catch the amazing sales seems even more of an issue now that the economy has tanked and decided to laze in the hammock named ebb for a time.  Even those with the best intentions of keeping company with friends and family, watching the holiday football offerings, eating leftovers, taking walks, etc., can hardly pass up an offer to reward those same loved ones with the fruits of Black Friday.  And then, just in case we happen to miss anything in our supermarket sweep on Black Friday, we thankfully have Cyber Monday to make up for our mistakes.

Perhaps it's too idealistic or old-fashioned to think this way, but what if we invested all of this time we put into Black Friday, Cyber Monday, the perfect gift, the perfect decorations, etc., into coming up with the best way to spend the holiday season with our families and friends?  Plan a game night or two, plan a special dinner where everyone can pitch in and have fun doing so, find some time to just be with those around us instead of desperately searching for the perfect gifts?  It's amazing what a little time together can do, so take an evening or two this holiday season and try it out!