A Little Bit of Mambo

The famous lines (or not-so-famous ones) from Lou Bega's "A Little Bit of Mambo" song keep ringing through my head, especially in recent weeks. As I indicated in the brief note in my last post, I have settled back into a normal life in Wheeling. I had enough time off to "catch up" from the last year of being away, I hunted down the perfect apartment, and I got a great job. These things together have made life so good. I am the type that if I do not really feel to the core that things are going the way I want them to be going, then I will scoot off onto my next path to happiness. In the end, this keeps me happy because I know, at the very least, that I'm fulfilling my role as a proactive human being.

Since being home, I've had the opportunity to reconfirm friendships, expand on already fruitful ones, and rid myself of those that no longer conveyed hope. I am normally not the hopeless type, but sometimes you just have to let yourself off the hook. I will usually put myself through a tremendous amount of grief before causing another pain, but it unfortunately seems that a lot of other human beings will not hesitate to cause grief. You can probably expect a rant on the "non-responder" type in the future. These are the ones who really drive me nuts. It's not so much that they're ignoring me, in particular, it's the idea that they don't embody enough respect for others to either assert their unhappiness with things as they are or take on the responsibility of being a good friend. Regardless, it's email. It's a few seconds of your incredibly long and laborious life...

Back to why Lou Bega's song came to mind. I've found, more than anything, in my move back home that there's not one thing I regret from my past years and decisions. The materialization of this opinion shows in my daily life here. I don't and will never be able to revert back to the daily routine of pre-Philly days. But, nor will I be able to go with being straight Philly here in Wheeling. So, everyday I find myself incorporating both Wheeling and Philly states of mind..."A little bit of this and a little bit of that/You can get what you see, you can see what you get." I feel I've finally broken free of the black and white perception/thinking that plagued me before, and this move is just one great moment to see this.

More to come...thanks for sticking around.