The Song of Roland

There was once a great literary theorist (who doubled/tripled/etc. as a critic of many other things) named Roland Barthes. In addition to regularly striving to be enigmatic and novel in his ideas, he also demonstrated very clever intellectual ways. For instance, he wrote a piece that was technically autobiographical, but he wrote it as biography in the 3rd person (Barthes on Barthes). As I read a small portion of this for class, I thought it may be a great blog exercise.

J'aime, je n'aime pas ~ I like, I don't like

I like: coffee, Thai/Chinese/Mexican food, acoustic-based music, happy little kids and babies, sunshine, the ocean, the mountains, Vivaldi, Tchaikovsky, Mozart, get togethers, technology, laying on my bed with Sydni and watching Ed, Edd, and Eddy, classic cheesy movies (When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, etc.), discussing beauty secrets with my Aunt Deb while drinking a morning coffee, morning fog, summer breezes, laughing without making noise, making others laugh until they make no noise, books on theology/world religions, books on psychology, books on history, childrens' picture books, love and loyalty, white noise, etc.

I don't like: rudeness, loud talkers, the harpsichord, most nuts (some exceptions), lies, opening gifts in front of the giver, feeling stuck, rabbits, guinea pigs, mice, spiders, soggy french fries (if I'm going to eat unhealthy stuff, it should be worth it), bands that do bad covers, winter months without snow (again, it should be worth it), feeling distance between myself and close friends, highway driving (too boring), grits, heavy metal music, most rap music, dance music, Romance novels, Westerns, Joan Rivers, Montel, Jerry Springer, fantasy/science-fiction, etc.

There are undoubtedly things I've missed, but the way Barthes wrapped this section of his book up was priceless:

"I like, I don't like: this is of no importance to anyone; this, apparently, has no meaning. And yet all this means: my body is not the same as yours. Hence, in this anarchic foam of tastes and distastes, a kind of listless blur, gradually appears the figure of a bodily enigma, requiring complicity or irritation. Here begins the intimidation of the body, which obliges others to endure me liberally, to remain silent and polite confronted by pleasures or rejections which they do not share."

Good Description

As I shopped with my friend, Sara, yesterday, I realized many things. They were all sort of summed up, though, in a rather random comment and discussion we had between King of Prussia and Wynnewood.

The less serious realizations? I'm so bad at making decisions about professional attire purchases. Part of this is undoubtedly related to the fact that it's just not as much fun as finding casual dress purchases. The other part is I've never had to take it seriously before. But, with my new job comes new expectations. Should be fun! The other thing I realized is how I do not discriminate when it comes to malls. I hate the thought of tackling King of Prussia, but I will jump at any chance to enter it...just as I did yesterday. At the very same time, I thoroughly enjoyed the offering of the much smaller and much less crowded Springfield Mall. Final minor realization? I have lots of driving to do in order to become more acquainted with what Philly and its suburbs have to offer. Sara's a pro at this and makes me want to expand my horizons. So, now on to the more serious realization...

As I've commented before in my blog, Sara and I moved here to Philadelphia around the same time--on the same day, in fact. So, we've both had the advantage of the support from one another throughout all of the ups and downs of making a big move like that. Yesterday, though, Sara made a comment about no longer feeling heartbroken about moving here, and that particular description really struck a chord for me. It impressed me that she was able to admit to herself, as well as to me, that she was truly feeling that sad about being here. In addition, though, I know and could admit to myself for the first time that I had been feeling the same way but was afraid to admit it to either myself or others. Granted, our situations are a little different (she had little choice but to move and support her husband's success whereas I totally made this decision on my own), but it's still nice to know that it's at the very least okay to feel this way.

This is not to say that Philadelphia hasn't been good to me and for me. I have grown more in the past months than I have ever before in my life. But, I think when a life event serves to put a lot of stuff into perspective for a person, he/she cannot help but feel a little bit of mixed feelings. I am not always glad I'm here in Philadelphia, but I will make the best of it. I will continue to successfully engage in those things that I have chosen to be a part of, I will open myself up to new experiences, and I will always keep my roots holding strong at the very center of all of this. While this has not been the joy ride that my inexperienced self thought it would be, I couldn't have found a better corner of the world within which to experience it. I have been very fortunate to have met such wonderful people and to have had the opportunities that I have thus far had.

Represent

For those of you who do not know, I'm hanging out at home right now...which also explains the irregularity in postings. Spring break proved much needed this year. After several months of reshaping and remolding, I felt a real drive to get back home and remind myself of some of my roots.

Everytime I make the trip home, I get all sentimental and homesick in preparation for my return to Philadelphia. The funny thing, though, is that I know in my heart that I need to return to Philadelphia...there hasn't once been a convincing thought of returning home. I have, however, learned some pretty valuable lessons in growing up.

I've always been a big preacher of getting over fears and living a full life. I have to admit I developed a fear of my own over the past couple of years, though, and that was the fear of flying. I was thankfully placed in a situation, though, where I had to either choose to allow this fear to cheat me out of time with those whom I love or just make myself beat it. I chose the latter, and I'm so happy I did. Not only did I get to come home this time pretty effortlessly, but I also have realized how much easier it makes it for me to live between Philadelphia and Wheeling. This doesn't even take into account how the world will open back up to me for fun trips, too.

Another thing I've learned from this time away is how important, albeit arduous, it is to preserve a personal balance and devote time to keeping my focus. It's so easy to be distracted, but I have realized how I must remain true to myself in order to be happy and a better person all around. And while it's great fun to live life to its fullest, it's also important to recognize your personal boundaries and keep your priorities in mind. That is, after all, what makes you you, right?

So, I guess old age (ha!) is bringing the wisdom of balance and moderation.

Consumer Extremists

I had dessert and a late-night chat with my college roomate, Julianna, Friday night. During this incredibly entertaining and fun-filled meeting, something was brought to my attention that I still find unbelievable.

I've discussed with several people the fact that I am not completely supportive of the extremes of American consumerism. I do, admittedly, fall into its grips now and then, but I, for the most part, think it's pretty upsetting. Julianna, however, told me about a recent experience she had at the Atlanta airport that left me stunned. She was in a general vending area and came across a vending machine with...ELECTRONICS!!! What kind of electronics you ask? Well, Apple iPods and handheld game systems just to name a couple. I couldn't wrap my mind around this. She said there was a place to simply swipe your credit card and make the purchase.

We both agreed that if we had the chance to purchase an iPod this way, it would make for years of conversation at every mention of the product. I can't imagine the sentence, "Oh, I got my iPod from the vending area at the airport..." coming from my mouth. We discussed how this type of trend could catch on and revolutionize the way Americans shop. Just think of vending malls where no store support is needed, etc. Where will the American economy go next?

Makin' Dad Proud

So, I think parents, in general, fully believe that their kids are incapable, to a certain age, of thinking logically about matters of safety. I also think that I definitely fit into this classification until I was forced out on my own. Now, I am borderline neurotic at times, but I think that's more life-preserving than the former. In any case, as I prepare for another trip home, this time roughing the PA turnpike, only the most responsible things are coming to mind: I should get new windshield wiper blades, I will get my oil changed at home, I better fill my wiper fluid with the de-icer stuff, etc. How does this happen? My brain has officially gone from full-time fun mode to adult concern mode without me even recognizing the changeover.

Anyhow, my huge Saturday feat resulted from such thoughts this week. It was a beautiful day here yesterday (until 40 mph winds hit), so I wanted to do something outside, knowing the rest of my day would be spent indoors reading. So, I decided to go to KMart in Wayne, which happens to also be the first Philadelphia retail experience I had. Anyhow, I went there to get some stuff to clean the inside of my car. When I entered the Auto department, however, I went crazy over those things I named above that may make my trip home a bit more safe. I got the essentials, and I felt so proud because I even found the right size wiper blades to replace my old ones. Then, the unthinkable happened...I came home, and I put my own wiper blades on! Back home, I would drive to the Advanced Auto Parts store, have a man find the right size blades, and have that same man install the blades. I would always observe how incredibly easy it seemed to remove the old and click the new into place, but did this EVER motivate me to get them on my own? Of course not.

Bad Press

As you all know, I do not make a habit of regularly writing on politics. In fact, I virtually never make it the only focus within any blog, conversation, etc., because I am no expert. The absurdities that have come about as a result of this particular combination of politicians, in the particular administration, though, has been one that goes down in history. This past week is only the most recent of a chain of administrative bloopers.

Poor Dick Cheney was just going out to have some fun hunting when the fates decided to test his hunting abilities. The fates' question: Should you be hunting quail, and one seems to resemble your friend, what do you do? Apparently, Cheney's answer was: Well, pull the trigger of course. Granted, there are many such hilarities about this situation, and many jokes have surfaced as a result of the situation; but, it is a serious situation since a man's life was in the balance for some time. I was getting used to the comments here and there about it, but I have to admit, at this point, that I'm tired of the constant rehashing and further investigation on the media's part.

Time Magazine, in the February 27th issue, has a "Reconstruction of Events" from the hunting trip. I've seen several other magazines at work with covers about it, I've seen news reports still dissecting each moment of the event itself, subsequent events, and everything else Cheney. My problem with this, of course, exists for several reasons. I'll just highlight a few.

1) Elsewhere in the world, there's a war going on, there's a state of emergency in the Philippines, there's nukes data being offered by Iran, and countless other newsworthy events. But, our media continues to highlight not only an old story, but one that in the bigger scheme of things holds little value to the American people.

2)Dick Cheney foibled...so what? Don't all humans do this? Do we all get a spot on the national news for doing so? No...know why? Because it's not important--at least not on the national news level.

3)There's been this move, most noticeable to me, over the past years from news about our political goings on to a very personal version of the same. It's like in order to get people to read, the media thinks they can add an element of drama and have that be their answer to bad ratings. Due to human curiosities, that seems to have worked because people are reading and watching. But, this case points out how much this devalues our news sources. I don't want all Dick Cheney all the time...I want to know about the serious events of the world that may have an impact on my life. Will the recovery of Harry Whittington do this?

Until Americans demand better media, we will not get it. And, unfortunately, it seems to only be getting worse as time progresses. I've been forced to reminisce about my days of Bugs Bunny cartoons and particularly the "It's duck season, no it's wabbit season" debate between Daffy and Bugs after each and every mention of Cheney and his hunting accident. I'm sure there's something more serious about his, oh I don't know, Vice Presidency that they could dig up. And the feeling I get nowadays almost everytime I open a magazine, newspaper, or turn on CNN or another cable news network is directly articulated in the sentiments of Elmer's sign...I give up trying to find a quality source of news.

They Had it Right...

In my Modernism class (which also includes a fascinating group called the French Decadents), we're learning about the shift from a purely objective reality to a split between the objective and subjective self (William James). What these two groups, the Modernists and Decadents, also advocated was this belief in absorbing the present moment, which in and of itself will end in a definitive death, separating it from the next moment. The message is basically that each moment can hold a very unique experience of life.

I've done some study in this area in the past, and one of my favorite authors, Virginia Woolf, expanded on this idea through her stream of consciousness novel form. This all said, I have to believe that these people stumbled upon perhaps one of the most important psychological and temporal developments in thinking of our time. Why? Well, what's the good in ignoring what you can get out of the now, only to experience the nostalgia attached to past events that cannot be recovered or future moments that may never materialize?

The reason I have been thinking of this idea so much is because I realize when people go through change or are in transition, it's very easy to get ahead of yourself and, perhaps even more often, look to the past for comfort. But, what I've realized, after doing both of these myself, is that this is not living. There's much to be had within each moment, and who knows how your path can change as a result of living in this moment. So, live as they did...take in the beauty and random observations of the moment...it can't be all that bad.

Sacred Words of Jack Johnson

As I was playing the pod today, I realized how good these lyrics were. Jack Johnson says it much better than I could have...read closely for full benefit.


Breakdown

I hope this old train breaks down then I could take a walk around

See what there is to see, time is just a melody

With all the people in the street walking fast as their feet

Can take them, I just roll through town

And though my window’s got a view, well the frame I’m looking through

Seems to have no concern for now

So for now I need this here old train to breakdown

Oh please just let me please just breakdown

Well this engine screams out loud, centipede going to crawl westbound

So I don’t even make a sound cause it’s going to sting me when I leave this town

And all the people in the street that I’ll never get to meet If these tracks don’t bend somehow And I got no time that I got to get to where I don’t need to be

So I I need this here old train to breakdown

Oh please just let me please just breakdown I want to break on down

But I can’t stop now

Let me break on down

But you can’t stop nothing if you got no control

Of the thoughts in your mind that you kept and you know

That you don’t know nothing but you don’t need to know

The wisdom’s in the trees not the glass windows

You can’t stop wishing if you don’t let go

Of the things that you find and you lose and you know

You keep on rolling, put the moment on hold

Because the frame’s too bright, so put the blinds down low

I need this here old train to breakdown

Oh please just let me please just breakdown I got to break on down

But I can’t stop now

Next Please...

There are some lyrics from one of Dido's songs that talk about her life "being for rent." For the past week or so, I've been thinking of these lyrics a lot because there is an essential truth within them. Due to some circumstances that some know about and some don't, I feel more than ever that my life is for rent. It's a bunch of time and space that has been allotted to me, and it's up to me what I do with it. I think I've known this for quite awhile, but a recent event just made me start thinking more seriously about it.

I'm not sure why, but it seems that American culture has teased out the element of fun and enjoyment that can be a vital part of one's working experience. My goal at this point is to reincorporate that fun and excitement into my career goals. Why do something that's boring and run-of-the-mill? Because it's accepted? Because it's easiest to attain? Those are huge factors, I believe, in most peoples' minds.


I've decided to take this phase of my life and reconstruct and reimagine my future (career goals, aspirations, etc.). My move to Philadelphia has opened my mind to so very many possibilities, and I now see how easy it is to enjoy life. I will hold these lessons close as I move on because I believe them to be keys to happiness. But, what I've realized I need is a momentary pause to do some soul searching. I am not where I want to be with a lot of things, so the only way to remedy this is kick life down a gear and take the time to figure things out. No one else can do this for me, and I've begun to see how I've taken ownership of interests and passions that are not truly my own...they're those that have happened to be projected on me for most of my life. They're not necessarily bad...they're just not mine. What I have discovered is that there are things that I truly desire, and the more I make those things a part of my life, the happier I am. In addition, and perhaps most importantly...I guess I want to have the best career I can, but I'm seeing that there are so many other important elements of life. This will be a rocky next few months...but maybe exciting, too.

Who knew that John Mayer had valid song material with talk of a quarterlife crisis?!

A Question

What the heck are we here for? Ever wonder this? Some days, more than others, this question is first and foremost in my mind. Today happens to be one of those days.

Lovin' Kids

At my Borders job, I have acquired a new official post of sorts...a kids' bookseller. The beginnings of this job were not the best times. I felt very overwhelmed by all of the different breakdowns within the sections, and I was not up on my Independent Reader and Young Adult selections; so, parents and grandparents would be throwing titles and authors at me, expecting me to know off of the top of my head what was going on with them, and I was clueless. (Peter who? Ohhhhh, Peter Pan...of course!) That is a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. In fact, one of my earliest comments to a friend was, "I hate kids" *awkward silence* "Not the people but the section."

But, since then, I happily report to have completed a major shift in opinion. Now, I absolutely love my kids' time. I grow nostalgic as I shelve the books and games, and I adore the kids who come into the section...well, most of them. I acquired a favorite tonight as I was shelving, and this little boy approached me, crying silently yet very hard. I went into a panic, thinking that he had lost his mother or something. So, I asked, and between adorable little gasps for air, he said he was sad because he couldn't get his book. Just so cute.

I Heart iTunes

I decided to do some purchasing of music yesterday on iTunes and it reminded me of the incredible perks of buying music this way--like being able to sample each and every song on a disc before buying. But, even more, I got two really great albums that I just had to write about today. The first is James Blunt's Back to Bedlam. I think this man is my new music love, and he may be the first to bump my lifelong obsession with Dave Matthews back a couple of notches. This album is incredible. He's one of the few artists who can put together both a great beat with very meaningful and good lyrics. This really means something because a friend and I were just talking last week how, if you're paying attention to a song's lyrics, how you can pick up on a kind of half effort in weak rhymes. Granted, it's sort of entertaining to find those types of things, but I think James Blunt really creates a new level with which the music world will have to contend.


The other purchase that I made which I am loving is Jack Johnson's In Between Dreams. The reason I looked into his albums is because people have been coming into Borders, raving about the new Curious George soundtrack, which Jack Johnson does with some others. I sampled the soundtrack and it did not particularly appeal to my tastes, however his album (the first I mentioned) is fantastic. What he and Blunt both offer is a fresh sound. There are so many artists to enjoy out there, I just love having iTunes to take full advantage of this.

And as a funny aside, I have to mention the fact that I watched the end of Napoleon Dynamite last night, which has a song by When in Rome, called "The Promise," from the 80s. I immediately ran to iTunes after watching the credits to see if I could get it, but the good version (I think the original) is only available on the soundtrack, and you have to buy it in full to get that song. What a great song, though! Gotta love good 80s songs...I was obviously a child during that decade and am just catching up on what was available.

Adventures at Market East

After my first official venture into Center City alone, I have to tell a story. This is a rather funny story, but one that shows how things always have a way of coming back to you--sometimes the turn-style just moves a little too quickly, catching one off-guard.

Last night, I took the 8:22 train into the city to visit a friend. I was somewhat nervous about doing so because I wasn't sure what to expect. I had to disembark at Market East, the one downtown station I had not yet used, and it was a sort of odd hour of night to travel alone. Because the snow has majorly messed up already detestable parking conditions downtown, a couple of friends said they'd pick me up outside of one of the station exits, thus avoiding the parking havoc. So, I called to report the R5 was for once on time and that I had just arrived at the station. I went upstairs to wait for my ride, and a man, who was not all homeless yet not all normal in appearance, asked me, "You're a regular train person, right?" How does a novice respond to this?

1) "No. Please take full advantage of my lack of city skills." or...
2) "Yes. So, I know I shouldn't even be responding to you."

I, like the naive West Virginian, revealed my secret..."I am not. I'm sorry. Did you need help finding something?" Like I could possibly be of any help in that matter! He proceeds with, "You know, I don't understand. I beg for money all day, I go to the window, begging for a ticket, no one gives me anything. If I were them, I would tell me to just take some cash, get some food, and don't show my face here again. But, that never happens. Everyday, I tell you! I mean, I went to college! I shouldn't have to do this!" Meanwhile, I stand there, stunned. He says to me, "Do you think you could pay for a ticket for me?" Knowing, at the very least, that a) I couldn't afford to treat him to the divine SEPTA service, and b) it's never good to continue such an interaction, gracefully explained that I had no money for him.

All this time, there was a "normal-looking" (aka non-homeless) female frantically digging through her bags. Just as my conversation with Man A ends, Female A asks, "Excuse me, do you have 4 quarters? I had change on me and now I just can't find it." As she asks about this, Man A glares at me, waiting for me to hand her cash. So, feeling I could be put in a very difficult spot with this man, depending on how many more seconds I had to stand there, I had to tell this poor woman that I did not have money for her. I felt horrible!

Looking back on it this morning, I just laughed. You just never know how quickly something like that can unfold. For me, it will make my first lone city travels unforgettable.

Valentine's Day Tribute to Human Love

I think it's amazing how much human beings are tuned into their natural instincts and driven by them without having any choice in it. What do I mean by this? Well, I will use love and coupling as an example, and I will be speaking from a personal standpoint, so if you happen to disagree, it's fine.

It's always amazing to me how there's this impulse that so quickly grips me when there exists a chance at love. I am such a stubborn person when it comes to giving up my personal freedom--whether it be freedom to or freedom from. But, there are times when all parts of me melt, and I find myself at the mercy of another person--usually a significant other. And the more I thought about this part of my personality, the more I realized that it has to stem somewhat from a longstanding human instinct. The human need for love is constantly discussed, but I would argue that the human need to love is just as strong. The idea of having that one other person with whom you can share anything and with whom you feel the security of forever appears unbelievably delightful to me. And sharing things with that someone, someday, such as children, even crosses my mind from time to time. Thanks to an expert on Oprah, I learned that women, moreso than men, feel incredibly afraid of being alone. I feel above this and don't think I'm afraid of it, but I do think that I desire a lifelong companion.

I'm finally learning, however, that the bigger project is not necessarily actively seeking out that ideal partner...it's teaching yourself to patiently await the arrival of that partner. Disappointment in the area of love is tough, but it at least opens up a lot of chances to learn--about yourself. One of my most recent lessons is that romantic love may be a terrific thing, but in the meantime, there are many others to love and many other ways to both express and accept love. Happy Valentine's Day, Blog world!

Kids are Funny

From the very early days of her life, I knew that Sydni would be a little soulmate for me. But, I never could have imagined what entertainment she would be. She's the first of the new generation, so I had never really had the chance, as the youngest in my family, to observe another little human growing into his or her shoes. I have been able to do this until I moved with Sydni, and I can't help by laugh when I look back.

What reminded me of how much I enjoy her sideshows were two comments she made during our past two phone conversations. Her first comment came from my simple question of what she was doing.

Comment #1: "We went to the bank because we needed money, and now we're going to breakfast." ( I thought this was fairly verbose for her 3-year-old self, so I tested her further and asked where they were going to breakfast.) "We're going to Bob Evans, and I want to see Elaine." (Elaine is her favorite Bob Evans server).

Comment #2: (Also resulting from me asking her what she was doing, but this time I asked because she was being a mute). "Aunt Courtney, I have to go because I have to eat my popcorn." (Priorities! I forgot kids could have them, too.)

I hope you all can get the same entertainment out of these as I know I have!

Trying for Balance

I've been writing some pretty off-the-cuff type of stuff lately, so I have to take today to do a more reflective entry. In this new semester and new year of my life, I've decided that my #1 priority will be balance. A lot of my happiness, even before now, originated in my ability to keep things in proportion in my life. Some people are much better at things like a lack of sleep, poor eating habits, or just more spontaneity. I, however, tend to short circuit under such conditions. There are so many opportunities, though, for me to abandon this resolve. What many don't understand about it is that I would, above all, prefer to pass up work or school work anyday in order to have some fun or just hang out. But, there are two things that prevent my being able to do it all--money and time.

The hardest part of all of this is that as others put a little pressure on, sometimes that's all it takes for me to drop what I'm needing to do in order to please and to have fun rather than isolate myself. While slips like this meant nothing in undergraduate, they can now manage to throw off an entire semester's worth of work. But, the bottom line is that graduate school is like a second full-time job for me. When I finish this brief, two year M.A. program at Villanova, I must be able to look back and convince others at a new institution that I am a competitive Ph.D. candidate for their program. I can't do this by not proving the same thing to the professors at Villanova. And I have to say I am relieved that the force of that motivation keeps me on track. Because, when it comes down to it, this is my entire future we're talking about...not a temporary vacation, not a night out, not a blowing away of a block of hours. Unfortunately, all of those things have to be put off until I accomplish my goals and secure my future.

What I hope people understand is that I have to be serious about this and it's not easy--the work, itself, or having to sacrifice my social life. I have sacrificed a lot of friendships and family relationships in order to achieve my goals, and I can't shrink in academic intensity now. So, while I may appear to be too miserly with my time to some, I hope that at least a few out there can see that I'm still able to be a good friend and worthy companion. Trust me on this: this life is no picnic, but it will pay off and I'm using my free time to enjoy what parts of it I can. Overall, I am extremely satisfied at the moment. Thanks to those who are constant support...couldn't be making it without that.

Anomalies

I was listening to a mix today, and I started some serious jamming to a song that made me realize what anomalies exist in my otherwise predictable personality. The song? Kanye West's "Goldigger". Anyone who is reading this knows that my normal lineup (Dave Matthews Band, the Decemberists, Kings of Convenience, Indigo Girls, Bob Marley, etc.) doesn't include anything even distantly resembling rap. For some reason, though, when this song comes on, I want to jam. Could it be the lyrics? The cameo by Jamie Foxx? I just find it kind of funny. Could it possibly be that I have an inner ghetto nature that has not yet surfaced? And as I ponder it, I realize that this inner ghetto started years back...as in I had to return my favorite Salt n Pepa CD when my mother heard the lyrics. Here's a top 5 for my anomalies:

1) There was a period of time when I preferred my brother's Levi's over any pair of my own.
2) Cheetos are my favorite snack...but only when I can eat them with chocolate ice cream.
3) I love to shop...that is for groceries.
4) While some sing in the shower, I prefer to dance.
5) There was a time when I wished I had a southern accent.

These are revealing enough...please feel free to share your own personality anomalies!

The Crush

I realize that when you attend an undergrad institution with two lit professors in the department, you don't really get a lot of choice on whom you will have your first official professor crush. My first real professor crush had to be a really hot male professor who taught Political Science at WJU. However, that can't count because it's not in my official field--Literature.

Now that I have arrived at Villanova, the prospects have multiplied ten times over. Whereas I had two female professors last semester, I lucked out and have two male professors this semester. I fell for both of them initially--one sports an adorable British accent with a great sense of humor while the other is somewhat reserved and pretty normal in all other ways. I realize at this point, though, that my first official grad school crush will have to be Vincent Sherry. I love his area of expertise--Modernism--and I love watching him slowly come out of his shell with the class. It was very funny because he couldn't stop laughing in class tonight as the R5 train continued to pass just about everytime we had to discuss anything sexual in class. It was like the unofficial bleep of the censors. Him laughing at that made me love him all the more.

Smart, handsome...and I guess a little more smart...these combine to make one fine professor crush.

Like This

As I scanned the CNN News website today, I came across the announcement of Betty Friedan's death. It made me think for a minute about how cool people like her can be...just fascinating characters. For those who may not recognize her name, she was the author of a groundbreaking feminist work titled The Feminist Mystique. She was a real jetsetter when it came to feminism in America. Now, I know that not everyone can fully appreciate radical types of representation...feminism, ultra-politics, ethics, etc. However, I think all figures in those areas can be seen as pretty successful in a general light. Here's what I mean...

To find one's niche in life is great. But, to become a leader in that area, and a well-respected leader, is pretty fantastic. What this means is one both gets to love what they do in life and leave an indelible mark on society. In Betty Friedan's case, there may be many who never respect her work in feminism, but there will be just as many people who swear by it. And even better, there will be people like me who have to rely on her expertise, left behind in only the written form now, in order to complete their own lines of research. What the article on Betty Friedan made me see is that I want to be successful the way she was...I want to do something that I both whole-heartedly believe in and feel passionate about, and I want to do it well, standing out amongst the rest of my colleagues (whomever they may be). What a fulfilling life that would be.

More Crazy

After having a late night breakfast with two Temple ladies, I've decided that Villanova cheats me out of one very important element of Philadelphia--more crazies. The stories these two had about the characters who they encounter on a daily basis while attending classes at Temple were incredibly entertaining. Guys in long black coats who stand watch then compare the passing students to snowflakes, people telling stories of bullets that end up in the doors of their cars...and the list goes on. I have nothing, considering my entertainment at Villanova consists of my inability to chuck my yoga pants for upscale style and feeling sad as I, in my Hyundai Accent, pass all of the undergrads who drive BMW SUVs and the like. I truly need to visit the city more often because I'm obviously missing out on some pure entertainment.

I'd like to believe I make up for the lack of entertainment in my observation of Borders proceedings...

Lesson Learned

It's goodbye to the days of double-fisted drinking (not that I ever did this...or at least did it well), and time to do as this poor soul is doing--double-fisted reading. As my day came to a close today, I realized that I have learned a very important lesson in the budding days of this new semester. As some close friends have warned me in the past, I have realized that my challenge in this new stage of education is not so much learning the material. I, of course, need to do the work and retain the important stuff, but the bigger lesson that I'm learning is how to be a successful and competitive graduate student. It's so very different from undergraduate studies. Even reflecting on the lesson I just mentioned, learning the stuff is the key in undergrad. You have tests, quizzes, and final exams that reflect this fact. Now, though, all of it comes down to what you will do on your own. How far are you willing to go in attaining a shred of knowledge that your classmates have failed to unveil?

I've been a total loser up to this point, repeating how I'm not competitive by nature...blah blah blah. But, it's finally hit me that I just need to kick it in and get to work. I truly adore higher education and want to be a part of its functioning eventually, and I'm not going to get there by magic...I must, like all of the others, walk the ropes. What I discovered as I had to discipline myself today is that I actually enjoy doing that work moreso than most other things in my life. If you're going to have to work your life away, then why not make it something you love, right? Today was one of my favorite days, and it included hours of plowing through a book and some critical essays and a delightful PB&J sandwich for dinner only to run to the next building for two hours of class. It can't get any better. Okay, that's admittedly a little over the top, but it's good to be waking up to the "job" of a graduate student. We'll see what happens with this awareness : )

Food is Love

I find myself thinking about food a lot lately. As I did some soul searching about why this is, I realized how much food truly is the center of my life. Why do I love food so much? Besides the fact that food is a basic human need, I think that it has, and maybe has been for centuries, an object at the very center of human socialization. I want to know how many sets of friends or how many families are out there who can find social activities that don't begin, include, or end with some form of taking in food or drink. I know for myself, the top three answers to someone (a friend) asking me what I would like to do are: 1)go out to eat, 2)go have coffee, or 3)go get a dessert. To be completely honest, I don't think I want that to change.

So, in trying to build on this discovery about my love affair with food, I've decided to try to learn how to cook. I am pretty good when it comes to baking, but I've never strayed too far from things such as Pasta Roni and Mac n Cheese when it comes to cooking. This should be an interesting new adventure...who knows, maybe I've gotta an inner Julia Childs just waiting to escape from the caverns of my soul. Please feel free to submit a recipe because food is love!

You Might Be a Redneck If...

Granted, I get plenty tired of all of the WV jokes that are thrown my way since my move to the East Coast. But, I have to give my friend, Chris, credit for adding a comic element of that past world of mine to an already hilarious encounter that took place yesterday.

It was such a very normal day...somewhat slow and boring to be completely honest. I had finished readings for class and decided to nap for awhile. I then received a call from Sara, requesting I visit Borders with her to pick up some books and go for some Thai dinner food afterwards. I happily accepted this invite, so we set out on our way. When we first arrived at Borders (for once as customers rather than employees), I suggested we let our friend and co-worker, Liza, know we were there because she was expecting us to come in at some point for our shopping. So, we did so and she took her 10 minute, asking us to join her outside as she took a smoke break. We complied, and sat on the curb, chatting away as people came in and out of our store. Then, and this reminded me of one of those TV scenes when the Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On" plays and the visuals go slow motion, a man walks out of the front doors, we look at him, he looks at us, we watch him walk all the way past, silent, and then Sara and I look at eachother, and she very calmly, with little surprise, says, "I totally think that was Chuck Norris." This was true, but my brain had not kicked in at all as I watched him walk. It was just an inner thought that indicated I should be recognizing this person and reacting--but that reaction was non-existent. After Sara made her observation, I agreed, and we started cracking up like 8-year-old, giddy schoolgirls.

It was one of the most random events of my life. My co-workers, Bryn Mawr customers, and other miscellaneous people exit those doors...not Walker, Texas Ranger!!! So, as lame as it was, I had to spread the joy of this random event. My mother, of course, was thrilled with my experience, as was my father. This fed my fascination, which felt good. Then, I left an IM away message when I went to bed:

"Today marks a great day in the history of my life (please know that this is strictly sarcastic)...I totally saw Chuck Norris as he strolled out of Borders Bryn Mawr. I love the random events in life--it's what makes it so much fun."

I woke up this morning to Chris IMing me. All I had to read was his first line..."You might be a redneck if..." I didn't have to read on, I knew how it was going to end. He was totally bashing my Chuck Norris excitement. I understand, Chris...it's hard when you're not the one who gets to see Walker up close and personal...especially when he's your idol. Anyhow, I reminded him of the sarcasm backing all of the excitement...and we had a good laugh.

Thank you, Chuck Norris,for a great moment that appears to keep on giving. And if you are reading this and would like to reading another account of the adventure, check out Sara's entry.

The iPod, Part II

As a follow-up to my past blogs that have included gushings about my iPod Mini purchase, I must bring closure to a tragic tale...

A few weeks ago, as I got ready for work, I had my tunes rocking through my iPod. When I was finished getting ready, I grabbed the pod, which I had put down at one point, in order to pack it up to take with me on the road. Unfortunately, it slipped right out of my hand, and it came to rest on the rather hard tiled bathroom floor. I was misled in thinking that I could possibly have gotten lucky for the third time with iPod drops, for I had previously dropped it on the pavement. As tough as my lil' pinkie was, it did not fare well in this situation. It was not cracked, but it refused to do anything when I pushed buttons. I have to say that this was a stunning discovery for me. Just as movies and TV claim that one's last thoughts before death wander to years past and fly by in chronological order, I began to instantly mourn the loss of a great companion--musical companion that is. I think the soundtrack to my flashback would have to include such hits as "Islands in the Stream" (me and the ipod being the islands), "You are So Beautiful," etc. I truly miss having my little iPod attached.

So, my co-iPod Junkie, Sara, tried her best to assist in the resurrection of my functioning iPod. She even had me convinced that I could pull off not revealing the whole truth of the matter to the Apple Store employees (something I've never been good at). Alas, we made the pilgrimmage to the Apple Store in King of Prussia only to discover that everyone else in the region also needed their assistance that night and we were too late. If I had any way of knowing iPod mouth-to-mouth rescusitation, I surely would have done it. But, it's no use. The iPod has officially flatlined...crossed over...however you want to put it.

I am currently pondering how to replace this loss. Being a starving student to begin with, it was a steep purchase. Buying two in a matter of months, however, seems a bit excessive to me. In the meantime, Sara lent me her precious green iPod to use as I wandered Villanova's campus last night for class. The fantastic thing was when I turned the pod on, and it was like 20 or so seconds into a song, and I just hit the play button to resume the play that Sara had started. You know you've found a friend in someone when you can start up their iPod and not have to even once forward through a song or artist. Oh well...life goes on.

Feelin the Love in the City of Brotherly Love

This post serves more as a thank you than as a time to consider a funny or philosophical thought of the day. The time of the year has come quickly when I have no choice but to shed 23 and welcome 24. It's crazy how the years seem to move faster and faster, but I have to say I can't complain...life is good.

I have to admit I would have never dreamed about 2 or 3 years ago that a few hours at a restaurant, surrounded by friends, would satisfy my birthday celebration craving. However, this year has proven a turning point. Funny how those around you can make virtually any setting a perfect place for maximum fun. While the night was rather short, I feel so satisfied with my birthday festivities. There was a close call because they revealed to the waiter that it was my birthday, and I thought for sure I'd have to suffer through a loud round of singing and clapping, but the gods were on my side and I didn't have to do so. This moment did remind me of the time years and years ago when my sister told a waitress about my birthday, and when the staff came out to sing to me, I quickly excused myself and hung out outside until it was clear to return to the table. Easily embarrassed as a child? For sure.

In any case, thank you to all of those who made this birthday a good one (including Peg from back home who pulled off a spectacular and priceless surprise that I stumbled upon as I left the house tonight). I hope you know how much I appreciate it. 23 wasn't bad, and 24 is sure to be even better.

I realized as I became embroiled in a fierce debate at work tonight that everyone should go the extra mile in the area of geographical knowledge--especially before choosing to enter battle. I admit that I'm very fuzzy on many areas of the United States; however, what I do know is the area from which I come. Here's what happened:

It was closing time at the store, and I was the lone female amongst three other male employees. The manager commented about my home being "down there." In response, I pointed out that I drive directly west and only slightly south to get home. That part of the encounter ended at that point, but the other two males (we'll call them Bill and Ted just for the sake of simplicity) chose to pick up the fight for their fellow Borders soldier. They began, very stongly, insisting that that could not be because they had driven from PA to OH several times without ever being in WV. My point was that you have no choice but to pass through WV unless you're slightly north of Pittsburgh--see map at top. (I should know this since I lived there for all but the past 4 months of my life). Bill just used his Enlightenment logic to back his argument while Ted chose to back his issue with the claim that he had never been to WV.

Being that Borders is a bookstore, and being that bookstores carry atlases (in fact several varieties), I marched back to the travel section and marched back up to the front to prove that I had outwitted these two smarties. The manager, who briefly teamed up with the other two, suddenly backed down when I showed him the hard facts. Ted gave up fairly easily and just laughed. Bill, however, took it a little harder. You could see the defeat in his eyes, and about ten minutes later, he looked at me and said, "You have to admit that that's a very small pinhead portion of WV." To this, I responded, "Yes, Bill, but you have to realize that I, along with many other people, inhabit that pinhead portion, and since when do pinhead portions of states get wiped off the map?" It was a valiant last ditch effort to gain a point or two in the battle--but, I think I have to take the win on this one.

The lesson(s)? #1: Don't argue with folks about their hometown regions. #2: Clear up your geographical trouble areas. #3: Even when you think you have no chance of winning in a situation like this, you must pull out your tools and persevere--it makes it all the sweeter when you win.

The Newest Addiction

I received an iTunes gift card for Christmas this year, and I finally had time to put it to use last night. I have to blog on this experience because it was my first official iTunes experience...and definitely not my last. High praise is in demand for this business venture because it has so many perks. The fact that you can search for an artist and pull up all of their albums or search by a song and see all artists who have produced the song in the past is fantastic. Plus, the music is much cheaper and you don't have to buy an entire CD in order to enjoy a favorite song or two. Even more important, especially for starving students, is the fact that you can oftentimes purchase an entire CD for cheaper than $0.99 per song, which means it's much cheaper than buying retail. With the exception of this last perk, I believe I put all of these benefits to use in my buyage last night. Here's a record of my first iTunes expenditures:

1.) Purple (Stone Temple Pilots)- "Interstate Love Song"

2.) Grave Dancers Union (Soul Asylum)- "Runaway Train" [Major blast from the past]

3.) Tigerlily (Natalie Merchant)- "San Andreas Fault," "Wonder," "Beloved Wife," "River," "Carnival," "The Letter," "Jealousy," "Where I Go"

4.) Give Up (The Postal Service)- "Sleeping In"

5.) From Under The Cork Tree (Fall Out Boy)- "Sugar, We're Going Down"

6.) Stars: The Best of 1992-2002 (The Cranberries)- "Dreams," "Linger"

7.) What's Following Me (Eleanor McEvoy)- "Precious Little"

Fantastic music, fantastic shopping experience, and a good reminder of just how cool the iPod and all of its components are. Hazzah!

In the Beginning...2006

I was lucky enough to close 2005 with a trip home to see those I love and with whom I have spent many years of my life. The week was one of catching up...on love, the town gossip, and the goings on with the kids. This picture pretty much sums up what I did with a majority of my time there. I just can't get enough of either of them. Sydni stuns me everytime I'm with her because she's growing into such a sensative little person...she convinced me to eat at least two Spree candy canes each time she visited my room...only so I would share them with her. Seth has taken to burrowing his head in your chest and grabbing your face with both of his little hands to show his love and appreciation. What a great thing to watch them grow into people from the little creatures they started out as.


While it was hard leaving them behind and heading back to Philadelphia, I had a great Dudley New Year's Eve party to attend, so things were looking up. I've realized that while my blog on 2005 was important for cleansing and moving out of the past year, it's just as important to focus on what I look forward to in the coming year. Here's a brief list:

1) Continuing to meet wonderful people in my new home. I've been so lucky in who I have met out here--at school, at work, and otherwise. My goal is to continue doing so. Life only continues to be enriched with every other human being I add.

2) Continuing to learn about myself and my goals. While most set resolutions at this time, I choose not to. Why? Well, I'm a firm believer that we change, as people, almost every day. So, what seems appropriate as a goal on January 1st probably won't withstand the changes that occur over the year. Instead of letting myself down, I will wake up each day and come up with a plan for the day. I see that this may simply be a product of my incredible problem with procrastination, but it works.

3) Building a better foundation. I find myself a little too impulsive sometimes, and this does not work well with reality. As a result, I am going to try to better focus myself. It's been hard doing so during the past 4 months, but I think it's a good thing to work on.

4) Have fun. One of my friends recently gave me advice for a specific situation in my life, and that advice was to laugh and have fun...not to take things too serious. I have decided to try to incorporate that into my everyday life. Stress is bad, and I invite it into my life too frequently...no more. I will remain steadfast in my venture to enjoy at least a majority of everyday.

This is sure to be a good year.
"The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn't matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark."
(Barbara Hall, Northern Exposure, Rosebud, 1993)

Loving Technology

I definitely cannot call myself a technological genius. In fact, my friend Chris from WJU, would undoubtedly argue the opposite as he has suffered through many late nights of explaining to me over the phone why it is a very bad thing for me to press buttons on my computer during bouts of impatience. But, I have to say that, looking back, I've been on a consistent road of technological improvements over the past couple of years.

First, I was moved to purchase my Dell laptop. This is my precious possession that goes just about everywhere with me. I have learned to use it in so many ways when I originally bought it to write papers--great justification, right? But, I now use it to watch DVDs in the comfort of my bed, upload pictures from my digital camera, and access music.

My laptop took on a whole new importance, however, when the same Chris from above very kindly took a roadtrip to my new home in Philadelphia back in August and introduced me to the possibilities available through wireless internet. He helped me get it all set up, with the cooperation of Madonna, and I have been in heaven since with it. I had been so used to dial-up in Wheeling that I immediately reaped the benefits of always being able to have my internet up and running.


My absolutely favorite and newest technological addition to my cache, though, is the one and only... Apple iPod Mini. This pink beast has become like an extra appendage. It helped get me through the crazy holiday season in retail as I would escape outside with my tunes as the customers milled around the store. It was wonderful to have on the train ride home for Christmas, and it has been great to have here at home. It's such a great size and so easy to keep with me at all times. iTunes is awesome software that has only renewed my love of my computer. And the list of positives about this newest addition to my technological history goes on and on.

I'll save the sentimental details, however, and just leave it at that...you get the idea. I love technology!!!

A Look Back at 2005

In preparation for a new year, I would like to take some time to look at 2005 in retrospect, recording the highlights and celebrating the changes the seemed to lurk around many corners. Overall, I'd say 2005 has been one of the best years of my life, so I hope the tales I have to tell are entertaining and good reading, too.

In January of 2005, I was still roaming the halls of Wheeling Jesuit University in Wheeling, WV. The spring term was quite stressful due to graduation in May and senior thesis up until then. But, February proved great in that I competed in the West Virginia University Literary Research Symposium and took third place, which on the state level seemed pretty acceptable in my mind. I got to spend the last months as a WJU undergrad, enjoying good times with friends and living up the last days of undergrad life--something I'd later realize was far different from graduate life. In any case, I enjoyed the term, and I thoroughly enjoyed the graduation festivities--who am I kidding? I love any excuse for festivities. I spent the summer teaching at the English Language Institute at Wheeling Jesuit, and I had the opportunity meet so many wonderful international students and very gifted ESL teachers.

Then came August...time for my big move to Bryn Mawr, PA, and Villanova University. What a great blessing it was that I could do this. I remember the day I was driving out with all of my stuff in the back of my car and Pamela in my passenger seat. While I never led her to believe that I was that stunned that I went through with it (in fact, I spent some time trying to convince her otherwise), I kept feeling as though I needed to be pinching myself. But, it was such an exciting time, and it has only proven to get better every week that I live there. School, while admittedly a huge challenge, has been a very cool experience. This new experience in a new setting and with new peers, etc., has proven to me in a major way that EVERYTHING in life is only what you make of it. I squandered away some time during my first semester, but I can now see that I'm on the right track (there were definitely days of doubts). I love Villanova--mainly because it's challenging, intellectually stimulating, and can't be beaten as far as aesthetic beauty goes (this matters!).

The other portion of my transition came in the form of work. I went from a very cushy job as a writing tutor at WJU, to a teacher (rather cushy also), to a bookseller at Borders. In both of my first two jobs, I now feel as though I was rather sheltered. The retail world is a very demanding setting, but it's also a great challenge. I always swore that I could NEVER sell anything...however, I've learned that I can do it with things that I adore--like books. So, my job at Borders has been very rewarding, and it has been so in several ways. First, as alluded to, it has taught me much about myself. It has forced me out of my shell when it comes to strangers, and it has really improved my people skills in general. Second, and even more important due to my new geographical location, it has proven the main place where I have met some fantastic friends. The normal group--Liza, Jen, Sara, Greg--all hail from there, and I'm thankful each and every day that I had the opportunity to meet them all. So, the world of Borders and Villanova have basically passed the last bit of 2005 time for me. And I can say at this point, now that I have made it through the initial months, that I am fully satisfied with 2005 and the way it has unfolded for me. There's nothing like being able to turn around and see a long road that you have made great progress on...that road being life of course. I'm not sure I can ever stay stagnant again because change is now sort of an addiction for me--it's like a rush each time I do something outside of my comfort zone.

So, here's to many more years of happiness, peace, good times with others, personal growth, and many many life lessons.

A Christmas Tribute to Memories

While I have dedicated some space here and there on my blog in honor of specific individuals, my trip home has reminded me of how special one particular person in Wheeling was to me...and always will be. Just as I'm spending this holiday being grateful for all of my friends--both new and old--I think it's best to blog about the one person who has been weighing on my mind since I arrived here in Wheeling.

My friend, Cindy, whom I met as a budding teenager about 10 years or so ago, was and remains a cornerstone in my life. Unfortunately, when I met her, she was in remission from Hodgkin's Disease, a commonly cured type of cancer. The unfortunate part was not that she was in remission, rather it was that the disease would prove insurmountable in force. After a bone marrow transplant, several years of chemotherapy and radiation, and years of being in and out of remission, she died on July 19th, 1998. Instead of dwelling on the details of her death, however, I think it's best to try to relay what made her such an unforgettable human presence in the lives of so many.

I think most people would like to think that when they do exit this earth, they'll leave behind some type of legacy whether through their family line or not. Cindy's legacy as an unbelievable teacher--in so many ways--will live on, and I can say this because she's proven the most influential compass in my life and she's been gone for over 7 years now. What did she teach? Well, she taught, through both her words and actions, that a genuine, unconditional love is what fosters happiness. She showed this towards everyone in her life, and the effects it had were so clear as everyone gathered to celebrate her life that July. She was just a soul, a very young one, but she touched so many. The epithet on her grave, "She taught us all," properly communicates her influence in my life and the lives of others. She's the first thing I think of upon entering Wheeling now, and her memory was never something I could shake before moving away from here.

My tribute this Christmas, though, is to express the joy that still lingers in my soul from this meeting from many years ago. She may be gone, and there will always be a piece of me that will crave her presence, but her lessons and spirit are here. It took many years, but I am now able to look for the same sort of fulfillment in friends again, and I've been blessed to find it readily available to me. Cindy taught me how good friendship can be and how important it is to realize its value. I only hope I can serve others as well and effortlessly as she did. What an awesome example to have available.

Zen Travel

Since my travels back and forth between Ireland and the U.S., I have not been lucky enough to do much exploring. Today, however, I had the chance to remind myself how much I love the actual travel part of going away.

I decided to use the train instead of flying home for Christmas, and I think it's my newest obsession. I got to take in the 30th Street Train Station in Philadelphia, which was fabulous. The train was running a bit behind, so I had some time to explore the station and take in the sights. While there was a lot of bustle from holiday travelers, it was not nearly as overwhelming as the airport can be. Once I boarded the train, things went very smoothly. I even got lucky and sat next to a girl who got off of the train less than an hour after I boarded. Thus, I got to switch from an aisle to window seat, and the only other seat partner I had was a man who was on for another very short period of time. Maybe beginner's luck?

This was about a 7 hour trek across the state of PA, but with great reading some restful sleep and iPod in hand, it didn't seem nearly that long. I have NEVER felt that way on planes...they're too crowded and stuffy. All of the Amtrak employees were very nice and willing to help with any problems, and the atmosphere stayed surprisingly quiet, even with a family of very small children sitting in front of me.

My feelings of contentment surrounding my travels today greatly reminds me of my Ireland travel time because even though there were small glitches, I still thoroughly enjoyed the trip. And the more I thought about it, I realized that in both of these cases (which seems a little backwards because travel can oftentimes be very stressful) I felt the same type of content. It's a strange combination of conquering fears and doing things for the first time and some good time alone. And those feelings are like the fuel that keeps my passion for travel very much alive. Here is to many more train rides in the future...hopefully on another continent.

Trees All Aglow

Just a brief note tonight about what is foremost in my mind for the day. I have many visual triggers for inner peace and comfort. One of those things I only get to experience for a small part of the year. That happens to be a lit Christmas tree. My preference is white lights on an otherwise somewhat simply decorated tree (nix the elaborate ornaments and just throw on some cream/gold trimmed bows). The other requirement for full satisfaction, though, is gazing at this lit tree in the dark. The glow of Christmas lights just causes me to feel a calm that I've not really found in other sources of light. Perhaps the fact that this source of light is not overdone (spread throughout the entire year) helps to keep it a fresh source of enjoyment for me. Who knows...just one of the many things I have chosen to overanalyze. Happy holidays!

A Few Words from the Inner Movie Critic

One thing that I always love doing is viewing a good movie. Over the past month or so, I have seen a few noteworthy, and not-so-noteworthy, movies that I thought I'd share some thoughts on today.

The weekend after Thanksgiving, I joined my friends Liza and Jen for a night at the Wayne Cinema where we saw the newest Harry Potter movie. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was actually a fantastic movie. Harry, Hermione, and Ron have begun to blossom as real human beings and the effects were incredible on the big screen. It's kind of funny because I think I'd consider this what Sara calls a guilty pleasure. I told Liza afterwards that it's one of those movies that make you feel the magic of childhood imagination. I had seen the other movies on DVD, so this was the first Harry Potter/cinema experience, so I have to say that I would prefer the cinema setting. Moving right along...

One of my most stress-filled weeks, when I was caving from graduate school pressures, Liza suggested we watch a completely no-brainer movie; so, we settled in for a night of Mean Girls. Can I tell you how funny I've always thought Tina Fey is? This movie only further confirmed her incredible ability to make people laugh. She captured the horrors of high school, added a touch of sentimentality, and topped it off with a couple characters played by her fellow SNL crazies. Bottom line: It served its purpose--we laughed uncontrollably.

The next movie I saw, at a very bad time (the night before my huge paper was due), was Donnie Darko. This was a fairly good movie. The overall message behind it was very good...the alien/satan-like rabbit that was human-sized and rather freaky was not so cool. Jake Gyllenhaal has always been one of my favorites, and he gets to team up with his sister in this 2001 movie, so it's an interesting watch. It kind of redefines willing suspension of disbelief.

Next, I saw Vanya on 42nd Street. This was a great movie, based on the play by Anton Chekhov. The cast was supremely talented and the character portrayals were unbelievable. Wallace Shawn and Brooke Smith were my two favorites...their performances were the ones that made the movie.

Another very good one that I had the chance to see was The Others, with Nicole Kidman and many other greats. The only thing I can compare this to was the moment in the theater when I went to see The Sixth Sense and realized the twist in the plot. This is one of those where, at the very end of the movie, you're forced to rethink almost every element of the movie. Fantastic brain teaser.

Finally, and on a less enthusiastic note unfortunately, we watched Ladies in Lavender last night. While two of my favorite actresses starred (Judi Dench and Maggie Smith), I have to admit that the storyline was a little flat and missing some arch. Janet (Smith) and Ursula (Dench) are very round characters, but there are several characters and elements of this plot that leave you wondering why they were even made a part of the movie. Not the best movie of the year...left me pretty disappointed.

So, there you go. A brief rundown of how I've been filling my time. More later...and there will probably be another similar listing later in my break because I have many recommendations coming in, including The Passion of Anna, Enchanted April, and Gosford Park. Oh! And I can't forget the generous offer from Jen and Greg to sit me down for a Star Wars marathon...I feel eerily uncomfortable that they both seem very eager to turn me into an experiment of sorts. I expect some slack for not seeing one of the movies in all 23 years of my life, but I'm a little nervous about their observations as I watch. (This is a joke...I look very much forward to this gathering just like all of the others.)

The Turning Over of a New Blog Leaf: Welcome Back

Welcome back, Tribute to Life readers! What a great feeling to be returning to the blog. I've thought about it so much over the past month, missing my blogging time. I have been very busy, though, with the end of my first semester of graduate studies and lots of Borders work time. I'll try to be brief and catch you all up on the latest and greatest:

Big thing #1: I had a wonderful surprise holiday visitor for Thanksgiving. A week or so before, a friend from Wheeling, Pamela (the poor soul who helped me move out here), braved the busy airports and flew out for a couple of days. I have to admit that nothing makes one feel more normal in a "new" place than to have the old and the new meet. Let me explain. Some days, as wonderful as every last one of my friends is here, it feels like I've entered the realm of the surreal. I have no more than a 3 month history with any one person, I live with an individual who was a complete stranger months ago, I drive down roads that are nothing like the ones from home, I tell people I'm from WV and they gaze at me like I'm from a different planet...and the list goes on. So, having the chance to have the comfort of a friend from home in the confines of my new home was a big relief. We basically ate our way through Bryn Mawr, Wayne, and Ardmore. Afterwards, I realized it was just what my struggling and restless soul called for...

Big Thing #2: Pamela's visit helped me realize what I had come here for in the first place, and, even more so, why I had come here for that. What I'm, of course, referring to is school. I think it was normal that I went through a stage of distraction, being out on my own in a very fun place for the first time ever. But, I also knew I was straying from my core purpose. What Pamela helped me do as we chatted was realize that it's fine to allow friends, work, etc., provide the garnish, but I do have a responsibility--both to myself and Villanova University. So, as soon as she flew home, I put my plan of action to work, beginning the adventure of my first graduate seminar paper. I don't think I've ever had so little sleep, and I don't think I ever care to repeat that sleep-deprived experience again. The way to prevent that: begin the seminar papers more than 3 weeks in advance.

Big Thing #3: I've reached a balance here. I still love my job--am putting in many extra holiday hours because the others with whom I work are like family and my customers (at least most of them) are incredible people. I still miss some of the things from home, but I'm not as disturbed by those feelings on a daily basis. Since I turned my seminar paper in Monday, I've decided to use the break to get re-centered and reaquainted with what I want to be doing with my life. Like what am I working through this program for? Asking myself these types of questions that lend a little direction.

To those from home who have stayed in touch and continued to be loyal, thank you--you're irreplaceable. To those of you who I have met here in Philadelphia, thank you--you're irreplaceable. Now that we're caught up, back to the daily blog observations tomorrow.