Scary Yet Satisfying

I've spent a majority of my evening putting a huge number of books on Borders' shelves; thus, I have had hours on end to reflect on my current state-of-mind. For the first time in a couple of months, that thinking actually made me feel very fulfilled and happy with my life, and it's the smallest of things that have made me decide that I am one lucky person. My mom repeated to me today the fact that she's not sure how I made this move because she's so upset over smaller changes, and I couldn't respond to her really. Why? Because I'm not totally sure what has gottten me through this experience other than a drive to live as much as I can. Here are the things that I'm most grateful for at the end of today:

1.) I'm going to a great school that was one of my top picks for an English master's program--the only thing I could see myself doing for at least the next two years.

2.) Today, I drove one of Madonna's friends and co-workers to the airport. Due to construction on 476, I had to take 95 and 76 to get back to Bryn Mawr. At first, I thought this was a horrible thing. But, then I followed signs on a route I had never taken before, and when I made it to 76-W and caught a glimpse of the Philadelphia skyline, I realized two different things: I love simply following signs to get where I need to go, and I love living here. I am proud to be a resident of Philadelphia.

3.) My job. I know I've talked about Borders a lot on here, so I won't dwell on this. But, almost every time I work, learn something new about my position as a bookseller or about another one of my co-workers. Today was a day I did both, and it made me, again, feel like this new life is finally solidifying into a real life rather than an extended vacation.

4.) Peace a Pizza & Hope's Cookies dinner breaks. I had two slices tonight--one bacon cheeseburger and one white--along with a white chocolate chunk cookie. I've had a combination of pizza and cookie for my last few shifts, and I'm not tired of it...yet. In fact, I kind of look forward to it.

5.) Upcoming Halloween party. This Sunday, I'm hosting my very first party. I think those who are gathering are a fun crew, and I look very much forward to showing them some hospitality and just taking some time out to enjoy their company.

Overall, things are shaping up very well. And I guess in answer to my mom's question, I would have to say that moments like all of the ones from today and all days--getting lost and finding my way, having new interactions with others here, and seeing, objectively, what past relationships really mean--are what make this huge change worth it. Everyday is a challenge, an adventure, and a lesson or lessons learned--scary yet satisfying.

Life with Q

I got home from work tonight with such a refreshing taste of home waiting for me. I had a comment on my blog from my roommate from junior year of undergrad at Wheeling Jesuit University, in Wheeling, WV--Julianna. The best thing ever about this is that all I really needed to do tonight is let out a genuine life because this was a day that I knew I was taking life way too seriously, but it also felt like nobody would allow me to do otherwise. Then there was Q (Julianna's nickname). Her comment about my piece on snow and winter was such a great memory...



Q and I met originally in a literature class, I believe--I think it was Lit-120 if my mind isn't failing me. In any case, we then had a religion class together sophomore year, and, finally, when I moved into an empty quad part way through senior year, she asked if she could move down to the WJU ghetto, T. More dormitory, with me. That was when life in the dorm began for me, but it got even better when I proceeded to move next door into her room after Christmas break since they were going to put a freshie in with me. Some of my fondest memories with Q include late-night talks, Doritos, movies, music, early morning runs to Hardees, runs to Kroger, and many others. But the particular memory she spoke of in the blog comment was best...

We attempted to go to dinner on a Sunday night at the campus cafeteria, which always had disaster written all over it, and all they had were clam strips--may not be so bad at a good restaurant, but I wouldn't recommend them at the B-Room. And because we didn't have a good dinner, we went to late night at Headlines, and had some pizza. A lodged bite of pizza in the throat, Dallas Kratzer, the Heimlich, an ER visit, and Kroger run later, we returned to our room. We got into our beds at opposite sides of the room...silence pervaded...then Q, in a very little voice, asked, "Courtney, are you breathing and okay?" I, in my best little voice, answered yes, and then the uproarious laughter began. To add to the complete and utter chaos of the night, when we stopped back at our quad, pre-ER jaunt, there was a random male student studying in our lounge. I asked what he was doing, hoping he'd let me know why he was in our lounge, and he just looked at me like I was stupid and replied, "Studying." I guess that's what I get for posing such a ridiculous question.

In any case, memories like these need to be preserved. And now that I've started thinking on it...there are SO many others just like this from only 6 months or so of co-habitation with Q.

Mission Accomplished

For the first time since I moved here, I returned to the heart of the city of brotherly love. We had a particular goal in mind, however, in taking this trip because there was a Nicholas Sparks book signing at the downtown Borders bookstore. Although I'm not the Sparks fan (and nor is Sara--we did this for our mothers), I have to say that it probably falls into my top ten outings since I arrived here in Philly. There's always something almost magical about cities at night, and it seems to take the city edge off for me.

After finding our way to the correct part of Broad Street (without a map, I have to add) and locating the Borders, we searched out some food. We walked Broad Street for what seemed an eternity before we stumbled upon Mama Angelina's Pizza, a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant on a side street...and a group of Tyco employees on a scavenger hunt, which was a little odd. Since there were no other tasty restaurants in site that would be quick, we settled for Mama Angelina's, where they had a combination of pizza and hoagies. Dinner ended up being a cheesesteak with onions...which was dripping in fat, but it hit the spot since I felt like I was going catatonic from hunger. About half way through dinner, Sara looked up and asked, "Is this a Christian Rock station on the radio?" And, indeed, it was...both of us agreed that there was nothing wrong with it, but it was just juxtaposed with this downtown, average joe restaurant environment, making it ironic.

So, following our cheesesteak dinner and chat, we wandered back up the street to the bookstore to complete our mission. We reminded me of one of the very quirky movie characters, like maybe Ace Ventura, as we took in the book signing and discussion because we were very proud to announce to at least a couple of different people that we were employees of Borders...and we said it so proudly. Anyhow, we kind of wanted to dodge the discussion part of the evening simply so that we could get to dinner part two, some Dunkin Donuts dessert. Unfortunately, Mr. Sparks just couldn't make it to us before the discussion...so, we took in the discussion, which wasn't bad--even interesting at a few points. They called numbers afterwards in order for him to finish signing, so we just checked out the music selection and listened to some tunes while waiting.

The next adventure came at the train station. I offered to operate the ticket machine for the train because I had done it the one other time I went downtown, but the machine only takes dollar bills or dollar tokens from the change machines there. As I was figuring out all of the buttons to push, two different homeless men approached Sara, begging for change. This added a little pressure to the ticket-buying process because I wanted us to be able to get the heck out of there and on the train, but it all was okay in the end...I think the lesson learned, though, would be to purchase tickets for return fare when we first arrive downtown, if it's nighttime.

This is the type of adventure that makes Philly life fun. And, better yet, the official Christmas shopping has begun...

Meditations on Snowbird

Before explaining the concept of Snowbird, I have to admit that I'm pining for Wheeling right now. Not so much due to the usual reasons--my favorite people, etc.--but because IT'S SNOWING!!! I first discovered that this may happen when I returned, soaking wet, from my trek across Villanova's campus in the very cold pouring rain last night and spoke to my friend, Becky, on the phone. She said they were calling for snow this morning in Wheeling. I just sort of shrugged it off, thinking there was no way that it'd snow...but my sister (aka Snowbird) called me this morning, and the weathermen were so right. She lives in the higher elevations, and she said there was probably about a half of an inch already. This brought the word jealous to mind for me...

Now for the digression...I have always enjoyed the winter elements for all of their benefits. I got to miss school, I got to stay in the warm house, drinking hot cocoa, eating all day, and just hanging out all while watching the snow fall outside. Another one of my favorite parts of the winter weather is the quiet that comes with it. I've mentioned, I think, the quiet of mornings before...but the winter quiet is different when there's snow involved. I love walking out into the fresh snow and hearing the normal sounds of the world only muted by the snow--probably my favorite phenomenon of winter. Sledriding used to be one of my favorite things until like 3rd grade when my brother sent me down a huge hill on a saucer, my least favorite sled, and I crashed into concrete steps, head-first. And the last winter element that I absolutely adore is winter clothing/gear. From cool coats to scarves to sweaters...I don't think summer wardrobe choices can even come close to comparing.

So while all of those are things I love about winter, I have to give my sister, Erin, a shout out because she's, admittedly, even more of a diehard winter fan. When we were all still at home, I clearly remember her being able to ramble off the snow predictions like they were her date of birth. It was always fascinating to me...she seemed like she had the meteorologist gene or something. In any case, one of the TV stations from home, WTOV-9, came up with the Snowbird figure, which is a cartoon penguin that indicates impending snowfall or school cancellations/delays. As winters passed, we all realized we had a snowbird right in residence with us...Erin. Thus, to this day, she is known as Snowbird, and her call and weather report has proven to me that no matter how far I go, my Snowbird will still be loyal.

Crazy Philly Drivers

After a tryst with the King of Prussia Mall's parking lot on Saturday, I've come to the conclusion that Philly drivers have got to be at their worst in any and all parking lot situations. Due to a simple desire to go drop some cash at the mall, we had to first get through the parking lot experience. Something does not seem natural about hesitating to go to a mall simply because of the parking lot experience. We agreed upon leaving, however, that it will not always be necessary to visit King of Prussia for our shopping needs--there are closer malls with more accessible parking lots where we can both park with ease and drop bags as needed throughout the day. Neither of these seems to be a possibility at this monstrous, incredibly surreal location.

We pulled into the parking lot/garage, expecting to have to settle for a not-so-perfect place, but then we got stuck in the middle of this bizzare state of chaos. We surfed what seemed to be a sea of unnecessarily large SUVs, most with the real fancy insignias, and every single driver (and passenger for that matter) seemed to wholeheartedly believe that their fellow parking lot drivers owed them something. We had cars zooming around us, thinking they were getting somewhere, when the reality was just that there was a traffic jam ahead where the passenger of one car was ready to lay down in the available parking spot to keep the other dude from taking it. (This really wasn't the case, it was that two spots were available side-by-side, but this is how it appeared to us...and it was a great thing to laugh at). Then, after holding us up in this spot for what seemed like an eternity...the passenger from the SUV in front of us, whose driver was taking one of the spots, exited the car, and walked around like he was flagging traffic while the SUV driver took his time in backing his SUV into the spot! That's just not the way to go when you have 30 cars backed up behind you, people honking, ready to runover pedestrians, challenging one another for spots, etc. It was unbelievable.

So, after looping the parking lot (at least one of them), we found a space where a woman was preparing to leave, and all was well--the shopping extravaganza began. However, there is a top 5 list that I've come up with for improvements in Philly-area parking lots:

1.) Arrows don't hurt...It's always nice to be sure of which way traffic is meant to be going. I realize that people, especially here, would probably ignore them though, so I think this calls for barriers of some sort. Although it was amusing to watch people cut around us, thinking they were getting somewhere, only to end up behind us at another point.

2.) Segregation can't hurt...There are those who think the world owes them something and those who just want a parking spot. I say all cars that cost more than an average-sized home should have their own lot.

3.) Crosswalks aren't good enough...just like with traffic flow, paint is not good enough. Barriers...I can't say it enough...you put your life in the hands of very eager shoppers when cutting across these lots.

4.) Exits...There need to be signs clearly showing you how to get out. The last thing you want after a long day in a crowded mall, carrying heavy bags, is to become stuck in the parking lot madness again.

5.) Public transportation...There should be a King of Prussia shuttle or train. This would eliminate the most dissatisfying aspect of King of Prussia shopping.

A Night at Yates'

(William Butler Yeats, Irish Literary Giant)

Yeats' Pub was the destination for my night out last night, and I think I've found a new favorite in the area. The atmosphere (minus the looming cigarette smoke) was fabulous. While there was a very nice, roomy bar along one side, there were also plenty of booths, so you could theoretically escape the smoke on a slow night. Because our group multiplied as time passed, we ended up grabbing a booth in the back corner, which was perfect for our gathering. But, while the atmosphere and company were superior, the karaoke that replaced the Philadelphia tradition of Quizzo for the night was much less than that. I'm learning that one can judge a karaoke outfit by their songbooks...and the ones at Yeats' looked as though the guy had pitched the CDs on the Xerox machine and churned out the pages. Not nearly as lively as the karaoke experience at Gullifty's last week, but the night really wasn't centered around a karaoke mission, so I would say it was still a great experience.

Here's my top five favorites from the evening:
#1: Karaoke replaces Quizzo. While I'm sure I'll grow to love the game of Quizzo because some of my favorite partners in crime at Borders love it, I have to say I was not at all disappointed to learn that we had to just sit around listening to good music, drink, and chat for the night. This definitely seemed the better outcome over giving the brain cells a workout during a time of recreation.
#2: Smithwick's Beer on tap. Can I tell you how wonderful this was? This was a blast from the Dublin days since Mikey Quinn swore to drink this beer the entire 5 weeks while I signed on for the much more harsh, yet delicious, Guinness. Here in the States, however, Smithwick's is the way to go.
#3: Convincing Greg to throw a Halloween party...at his apartment. This involved a little team work, but we all pulled off the guilt trip well, and the party's at his place next Sunday--so Sara and I can use our genius and original yet-to-be-disclosed Halloween costumes not once but twice.
#4: From talk of butts to the butt of a joke. I knew it'd be an interesting night when the group's discussion basically began with reflections on the game of "Would you rather...?" The instance we used is, "Would you rather a butt for a forehead or feet dangling from your chin?" (I believe this was a camp memory from Sara's youth). I said butt, hands down...and it came back to haunt me when I became the butt of something that can't really be labeled a joke--but it turned out to be one nonetheless. In response to a story about a manager peeing in a bush after a boisterous Borders gathering and Jen's attempt to provide reassurance to this man about not being embarrased, etc., I responded with, "You should have just said you can pee in a bush anytime...in fact, I'll provide the bush." [Note: This is me, without knowing it, putting a completely derogatory statement into Jen's mouth.] This utterance was followed by a very profound silence during which Sara claims she gave me a look, but I was so slow on the uptake that I did not even notice the silence or the incredible mistake I had just made let alone Sara's glare...for what seemed like an eternity. Then, the laughing started, and it was difficult for all to gather composure. I would like to claim that this was all on purpose and just me going out on a wire for a good laugh with my new Philly friends (key phrase: "would like to claim").
#5: Pre and Post-game snacks with Sara. Pre-Yeats', Sara and I ventured to Dunkin' Donuts for a donut and iced mocha latte drink, which was so good. And then afterwards, we ironically gave McDonald's yet another try to no avail. You guessed it...mechanical problems a second time in a row at like 1am. Looking at the upside, though, we were able to bond with the occupants of the red Honda Civic in front of us.

I think that pretty much covers the night. It was a great gathering, and it renewed my confidence that this is where I belong for now. I can't really think of anything that tops laughing until you cry...or just letting out a genuine laugh with a group of great people around you.

Funny Memories from the Days of Kelly

This is Kelly and Clint. Kelly, as mentioned previously in my blog, is a dear friend of mine from Wheeling. She and I have come to be very close friends over a relatively small period of time. Over that time, I have at least two favorite memories that are worth sharing. Keep in mind that I've been buried in books all day, so I desperately needed some release, and Kelly definitely deserves the airtime.

There's a running joke, at least on my part, that Kelly was bribed by one of our professors to welcome me into the English major at Wheeling Jesuit University. I had gone through my first two years in nursing, so entering the established group of English majors as a junior was a little intimidating at first. Kelly welcomed me with open arms, however I was later informed by the professor that she had requested that Kelly kind of take me under her wing. Kelly swears that she would have been friendly anyhow, and I have full faith in her; it's just funny to think back to how such a wondeful friendship began.

Another funny aspect of our relationship is that just months after we had met, Kelly came over to my dormroom for a night of hanging out. In fact, it was the end of the fall semester, just before break, because that's why we ultimately decided to bake some cookies. Before that activity, however, another friend of ours, Jackie, arrived at T. More dormitory with a box of really cheap wine. Yes, a box with a spout, and I quickly learned a lesson in wine consumption. Kelly, as was the smart thing to do, refrained from joining in the drinking. However, I have to say that when Jackie, a HUGE George Michael fan which still makes me crack up, popped in the first G.M. CD, I was secure with the idea that I was only dancing to him because I was a little under the influence. I have never asked Kelly, but I wonder what her excuse would be for breakin it down? In any case, Kelly, Jackie, and I decided to bake sugar cookies labeled with everyone's names from our Modernism class--which happened to be at 9:25 the following morning. We made the cookies alright, however I can't say I was a happy deliverer. Jackie stole my bed that night, I had the worst hangover ever the following day, and I had to go eat beef stew of all things at another professor's gathering. Not a happy combination. I was just relieved when Kelly chose to remain friends with the new drunken major who wanted to make cookies.

Now, to be quite serious, I have to credit Kelly for being one of the most consistent of people in my life. From the fall of my junior year, up through the day I left Wheeling, she was there for everything--including some of the most important graduation events and my final sendoff get together. I think it's so true that once you step out of the normalcy of life (and into a new normalcy), it's much easier to see the truths of the old. But, in a funny way, the miles now between us, as they have changed our friendship somewhat, have only brought us closer together.

Major Nostalgia

I had to include this picture of my niece, Sydni, because it fits the description of what I feel most nostalgic about at home. Because I have never lived away from my hometown, I guess I never knew what the feeling of nostalgia really would be. I know the definition of the word, and how it's used in literature, and the typical characteristics of it...but all of that is very different from the actual feeling. The context of life changes things so much. When 100% comfortable with my surroundings, I had such different daily concerns and distractions. I didn't realize how much my daily life revolved around very normal moments like the one above...Syd lounging at my mom's, watching her favorite cartoons. These moments, as opposed to the hugely exciting ones with friends and family, seem to be the ones that reminded me each day that the planets were still aligned and life was okay.

The complexities of making a move are tenfold. There are so many different things happening at one time, that I feel a lot of the time like I'm short circuiting. Now that I've been picked up and plopped in completely new surroundings, I'm facing the question of who I really am, my likes and dislikes, my petpeeves, my desires. And because I made this move all on my own, and I'm basically starting out at ground zero, it forces me to look at every situation from a truly singular standpoint. No longer do I have my family and friends from years past, walking beside me, sharing in my experiences. In addition to facing myself, though, I'm also facing new people. What people do I want to invite into my life? Do I have the choice? Most importantly, do I have the right to be picky at a time like this when I'm alone? Then there are the very very real concerns...school and work. Again, very new environments and dynamics. I have found graduate school to be a very lonely experience. While undergrads tend to accentuate the social aspect of everything, graduate students all seem to be too busy--rightfully so because it is a huge workload. But, I see life as a series of tiers...you have to have your foundation and build up from there. My foundation has always been my own place in my community of friends and family. So, I'm feeling very inept in school and work because I feel I have no foundation--or a very shakey one. Every morning when I wake up, I think about stuff that I never thought about before...it was all such a given.

I would go to school, knowing that I could call my friend Becky at a break and schedule a quick dinner with her. Or, while working at the Academic Resource Center, I would conveniently speak about Dairy Queen and my friend, Chris, who was the best eating buddy ever, would add that DQ would only be good if there was some DiCarlo's Pizza beforehand; so, we would go get those two things and enjoy some time just chilling and laughing. Over the summer, my friend Kelly and I were the old fogies who enjoyed hanging at the Center Market for a dinner of Coleman's Fish. When I had the time, I could call my brother or sister's house and go see the kids...on a whim...it didn't have to be planned. And, of course, I would always return at the end of the night, knowing the porch light would be on and my bed would be there waiting for me.

There are just so many things to think about and not enough time to explore and feel more at home here. It feels like an extended vacation. And these different circumstances make me feel alienated from myself in a very strange way. For instance, normally, as mentioned above, I enjoy the spontaneity of life...the unexpected moments are so great. But, because I'm lacking that feeling of security that I had for so very long, I instead crave structure and plans--so I can be reassured that I'm not alone and that this life is going to feel like home again. So I'm not even really acting as I'm used to...and it's these gut reactions that totally throw me off because not only are my surroundings alien...I am. Strange, I know...but it's the only way I can describe it.

I'm confident that all of these issues will be remedied with time. I would compare this time, though, to a time when a manufacturer decides to stop making a product that has become a huge part of your routine--clothes, shoes, face/hair products. You no longer have the old, so you have no choice but to use the new; but, it's a struggle to adjust. I guess it's challenges such as these that make us who we are. So, I'm now off to remind myself that I will make it here in Bryn Mawr and do some exploring.

A Confession

After being here in Philadelphia for just over two months, now, I have to make a real confession. This is not a juicy sort of confession that will rock anybody's world, but if there are any real patriotic folks out there, they will certainly be dissatisfied. This all sort of started within the first few days that I moved here. My friend, Pamela, and I headed for downtown to spend the day exploring, and just after arriving down there, it started pouring down rain and got pretty miserable. Being the smart tourist that I am, I had flipflops on, which made trekking through the city even more fun in the rain.

Because I had never visited Philly before, Pamela took the reigns and gave me an idea of what we could go do. At the time, I chose to bypass the historical district simply because it was too far from where we were at the time, and I did not want to have to walk across the city in the rain. I know...pathetic. In the end, however, Pamela's wallet was stolen at the Starbucks we visited, and we ended up passing right through the historical district en route to the police headquarters. Even as we passed right by things like the Liberty Bell, I had no hint of regret that we couldn't stop to see it due to the circumstances. There was actually a very small hint of relief.

Now, however, a couple of months have passed, and there have been many days free of rain. My confession? Despite both much time and good weather, I still have absolutely no desire to go see all of the historical landmarks and such that are accesible here in Philadelphia. I realize that someday this may come back and haunt me, but I definitely don't look at downtown and think history. Instead, I look at downtown and think about the plethora of shopping opportunities, entertainment, and food. Would this qualify as unpatriotic? Because I have never viewed myself as unpatriotic or terribly patriotic. I think I'm just neutrally patriotic. I dig America, but I don't have to put flags on my car and stuff.

My hope is that I'm not completely off-base feeling this way about the historical district of my new home. It's definitely not that I don't appreciate folks like Ben Franklin and all he did for our country (and the world for that matter), I'm just not highly entertained by those tourist attractions that display those accomplishments. And it may be that I've grown up in this highly materialistic and all-consuming society, which instigated such things as Fast Food Nation, and I have a majorly displaced sense of appreciation. If it makes up for any of this at all, I have read excerpts of Franklin's writings, and I do rate him as one of the best thinkers ever to reside within our borders.

Case in point: I'm guilty of lacking interest in historical Philadelphia.

Morning

Several things made me do more thinking on morning today. These things will thread together for you why mornings have come to be my absolute favorite times of day. What started this whole chain reaction of thoughts was a discussion Jen, one of my managers at Borders, and I were having towards close tonight. She was joking about the alarm button in the back of the store that now has the tagline, "Push this button to detonate store nuke." While there are not too many funny things about nuclear weapons, when Jen said this in her best stereotypical sci-fi thriller voice, it was very comical. So, I told her it reminded me of my younger days of watching Inspector Gadget, the cartoon, and how the boss always repeated how the message/directions would self-destruct. As I spent the next hour and a half reshelving books on the second floor, I realized how precious mornings have always been to me.

The Inspectore Gadget comment/memory produced a very strong feeling of nostalgia for me. Why? Well, it definitely was not the quality television the cartoon provided, but it was the fact that that show was a very regular part of my morning routine as a kid. Even better, it was one show that I truly enjoyed, and this was a saving grace for me as there were not too many of my preferences that coalesced with my big brother's standards--but this was one of them. And it's always a plus to win your big brother's favor even if it's in the fleeting moments of morning cartoons. I guess remembering those days of innocent and worry-free mornings totally make me swoon for a return to simplicity like that.

Other morning favorites are as follows:
1) Having the chance to watch the sun rise. While I have had this opportunity many times as a driver en route to different destinations and as an early morning runner (those were the days), I have to say my favorite sunrise was on my first day in Dublin. We flew into Dublin airport before 6am, and I got to view the sunrise from inside. It was pretty sweet. And I'll never forget that I was ironically listening to Nora Jones' song, "Sunrise," off of her Feels Like Home CD. And no, this is not a dramatization...it's just one of the many coincidents of the moment that made it freeze in time.

2) My niece, Sydni, arriving at my mom's. Because my mom babysits her, my sister-in-law dropped her off regularly at 7:30am. I would almost always be in the middle of getting ready for my days on campus, but my heart would warm as soon as I would hear her little, very happy voice. Nothing like childhood happiness in the morning...or anytime for that matter.

3) Bike rides. My friend, Kate, and I spent several very early mornings on the Wheeling Heritage Bike Trail last spring and summer. When I say very early, I'm talking like 6-6:30am, so we, of course, also enjoyed many foggy sunrises. She taught at my undergraduate institution and I had to attend early classes, so this was the only time we could fit our ride in. And these rides, and the conversation that accompanied them, always seemed to make days better.

3) Having coffee. While I am sort of an afficianado when it comes to this delightful drink and drink it just about anytime during the day, my favorite time to have it is in the morning...nothing like that first cup.

4) Visiting with friends. I love my friends all of the time. But, I've come to appreciate a new cycle of early morning visits that have cropped up in my life. Both times that I have visited home, my last stop before getting on the road has been at my Aunt Deb's house, and we have our morning cup of java together. These times would definitely rate in the Top 10 of my entire life's events. And I can't fail to mention the pleasure of morning coffee with Sara. We haven't done this tons of times, as of yet, but I'm thinking the Gryphon will prove to be our favorite morning coffee spot.

So there are some highlights about morning that have been on my mind. When you combine a fresh start/clean slate, good coffee, and good company, it seems to be a foolproof plan for contentedness...and it has been just that for me consistently.

New Show

I've been a self-proclaimed loser for the past several years when it comes to television. I watched movies all along, but, as several know, I quit my major television time after Seinfeld left the scene. A wise woman once said to me, " You should try Arrested Development..." So, as I have done since I moved here, I prepared for my long hours of reading by having something to watch before crashing. And in order to catch up in an area in which I have definitely lost touch, I bought Season One of Arrested Development. I have to say it definitely has the potential to become a favorite. I got through the first few episodes, including the pilot, so I'll update my opinions and qualifications after I get further into the season. But, so far, it's a hit. Sometimes I revel in lazy weekends of pajama pants and good entertainment.

Borders Madness

Back in West Virginia, I always laughed at those individuals who would venture out into the crazy after-Thanksgiving and pre-Christmas crowds. The news footage always made these shoppers seem like crazed animals on the hunt for their prey while in reality they were simply desperate to find the perfect toy for their toddler or the last copy of the top-selling video game for their teen. After the incredible turnout for Educator Savings weekend at Borders, though, I think I'm realizing that this shopping frenzy is not specific to my native land. I admit that 25% is great savings, but these buyers were serious...it was like they had been keeping a list for months in anticipation of this weekend.

A very kind Borders employee named Susan was kind of in charge of the events for the evening, and she began announcing door prizes for those who had entered. As I passed by her station, I heard a woman telling her that she had been sick all day, taking Tylenol like candy, and the fact that she won proved to her that it was the right decision to drag herself out of the grips of the vicious fall flu to grab her savings. Who knew that Borders could do so much for one's well being?

And I might as well throw this one in since it's along the lines of Borders work. There are numerous carts in the back room for the various sections of the store (Fiction, Religion, History, etc.), and I was assigned what is referred to as the Religion cart. What I found to be completely ironic is that the Religion cart also houses the materials from the Sex and Erotica section...at the very least, this paradox provided a laugh for me during this 8.5 hour Borders evening. And after spending some quality time with Molly, I am off to bed...at last.

Karaoke Observation

A very important milestone has now been completed in my life. I had my first experience with karaoke last night. I find it very funny that I have done some pretty crazy adventurous things so far in life, like crossing the Atlantic Ocean, but I had not experienced karaoke. Could it be my sheltered social life in Wheeling? I won't rule it out. In any case, Sara accompanied me, and was the instigator in this move, because she's like the queen of karaoke. We chose Gullifty's as our first Philadelphia karaoke adventure, and it was nice because the restaurant sits directly next to Borders, so a couple of the Borders crew stopped over to hang out after the store closed. Kurt, a fellow bookseller, and Greg, one of the managers, were great to chat with, but I don't think they were quite as enthusiastic about being there for the karaoke. That's totally okay, though, because it was still a lot of fun to get to know them. There are some great pictures with Kurt, since Sara toted her digital along, but those will not be up until a later time. Sara's blog may have them up before mine does, so you can check that out.

I had to take the night just to observe because I was a little hesitant to open myself up to a brutal crowd. However, I think the Gullifty's crowd would be an okay one to start with. There were some pretty fantastic performances, with true gusto and soul, and Sara brought the house down with The Jefferson's theme song. I think she has audience response down to a science, so I'll have to consult a little further with her before finalizing this decision; however, I'm fairly sure I will be using Gladys Knight's "Midnight Train to Georgia" for my initiation--and that will most likely be next week. This is a little cheating because I did technically perform this song with my sister, Erin, and her friend Heather years ago at Kennywood Park. But, I think it's most fitting to do it first then branch out. The official offerings of this particular company that works the Gullifty's gig really opened up many opportunities for the future.

After a long night of karaoke, it's only appropriate to try to take in some McDonald's grub. Unfortunately, they were experiencing some mechanical difficulties and it was going to take forever, so we chose to go with some pizza and peanut butter/chocolate brownies. And now that I have neglected school for the sake of social well-being, I am afraid I have to hang up my gregariousness for serious-mindedness and reading. So very inconvenient...

Profile Picture Note

I thought it was time for a change in picture. So, I wanted to attach a brief note on the picture I chose. I taught English as a Second Language over this past summer at Wheeling Jesuit University in Wheeling, and by the end of the summer, I had met so many fascinating and smart students. One of those who I was honored to teach was the young woman in this picture with me; her name is Dilek, and she's back in Turkey now, finishing her undergraduate degree in computers. Very smart girl who taught me a lot, too.

The Sushi Adventure

After making my way back to Bryn Mawr yesterday, Sara and I had a very socially productive night.

We started off at a Japanese restaurant down the street called Samurai. This was Sara's first experience with sushi, and I was so happy to get to join her for it. We split the Sushi Appetizer plate, which included tuna, salmon, fluke, crabmeat, and striped bass. I had to break out the chopsticks skills, which are very minimal in my case, in order to join her in her sushi adventure. I warned her that the one other time I tried sushi, I had the occasional issue of getting the strongly fishy-smelling stuff to go down (sorry, but that's about as gross as it will get on this blog). Thankfully, none of it was too bad for either of us until we hit the striped bass. This was the one that they chose to leave the iridescant/blue skin on, and that was the first step towards skepticism for both of us. However, since this outing was explicitly listed as one of our impending adventures, I insisted that we both get it down. It was rough, but as a result, we were able to revel in our sushi experience. We topped the dinner off by splitting the chicken teriyaki entree, which was good but not spectacular.

It's the week of Fall Break, and I think for the first time in a long time, I'm so happy to be out of school mode. It's such a good feeling to enjoy breaks and friends with whom I get to spend that time. I had forgotten for such a long time how much balance matters...

More tomorrow.

On the Road Again

Tomorrow is another travel day. The time has come to shoot back across the state of Pennsylvania.

Weekend in Wheeling Top Ten:
1.) Hugging the kids.
2.) Quality family time.
3.) Quality friend time.
4.) Oglebay Festival
5.) Picking pumpkins
6.) Nights of throwing tile.
7.) Eating favorite foods
8.) Feeling at home
9.) Getting new tires
10.) Losing track of time...

I never really dreamed that I would be excited about getting new tires put on my car, but I guess that as well as the exhaustion I now feel after romping around with Sydni prove that I'm going up in years.

Oglebay Festival

What a good day. After a trecherous drive home (8 hour drive home as opposed to the normal 5), I was rewarded with a day of family, friends, and a much needed haircut.

I keep trying to figure out this haircut dilemma in my head. It truly puzzles me, knowing that a trim in the Philadelphia area is very expensive. When, at home, I can get my cut, without any anxiety, for a very reasonable amount of money. Now, I am not one usually to complain about stuff like the cost of haircuts. I am definitely happy to save money when I can, but I also fully believe in being happy with one's looks. But, I must admit that I'm a little concerned that I am more likely to wait 2 months between haircuts, only to travel back to Wheeling, WV, as opposed to Philadelphia, PA, for my cut. And Sara shared a sort of horror story about her one cut experience, which turned out to be both expensive and bad--the worst of combinations. So, what am I to do? Two months between trims seems a little bit absurd for a short do...and I must admit it began to both feel and look somewhat nappy. If there's any advice to be had on this front, please offer it.

Now for the ultra fun stuff. Oglebay Park is a place about ten minutes, tops, from my house in Wheeling. It's more of a family resort and a big golf destination rather than a state park that has activities for all lovers of the outdoors. In any case, each October, they have the Ohio County Fair and the Oglebay Fest (this is the Wheeling lingo for it--Oglebay Festival). The Ohio County fair is a real taste of all things farm-like; for example, there are cows and other farm buddies, lots of home cooking, and there are the various types of contests, including hog calling (rather disturbing) and the fiddle playing. The Oglebay Fest side attracts vendors from everywhere in the state, who specialize in crafts and foods. One of my absolute favorites is the kettle corn booth (where there's a man stirring a huge blackstone pot full of popcorn that smells delightful), and I also enjoy the other festival foods provided--funnel cakes, hot chocolate, etc. Today, however, the festival was a bit less enjoyable because the weather decided to switch from 90 degrees and humid to much much cooler and rainy. Now, I have to say that cool is much more for me than hot, but I can't say that I enjoy walking around in the rain under any conditions. But, it was nice to hang out with my family and I got to see Kelly and a few other Wheelingites who were from the days of ol'.

I spent a portion of the day with my Aunt Deb, who just makes me feel so at home. I also got to see my cousin Bobbie, who lives in Martinsburg, WV, and who I don't see much because he was in with his girlfriend, Amanda, for the weekend. I also got to receive a warm welcome home from Sydni, which I always love, and when we all gathered at Ye Olde Alpha for dinner, Seth allowed me to rock him to sleep and hold on to him for some time. I miss my people of Wheeling very much, which always makes coming in very hard in some aspects because the goodbye is always looming. And sometimes it's just nice to drive around on streets that I know and have known my entire life. Of course, one of my favorite parts of our family dinner gatherings is when Erin, Ryan, and I begin to reminisce about our younger days. So many funny stories and things that connect the three of us indelibly, and they all usually include raw humor.

Tomorrow is pretty jam-packed, so I may not make it to the blog until Monday or Tuesday, when I return to my new home. But, I'm very excited because I get to see a few friends, spend some more time with the fam, and revisit Kian, a little boy who I babysat last year, during the first year of his life. It's very cool to watch him as he grows up. So, I'm sure there'll be plenty to tell about later.

The Job of a Sculptor

I'm going to do my very best not to become a sentimental fool who revels in metaphorical writing; however, every part of life right now seems to call for it...so bear with me! Here's the latest metaphor:

I'm not up on my history of sculpture, but the one first-hand experience I had with it was when I was 15-years-old, working with a caterer in Wheeling. This guy, Rocco, did incredible ice sculptures for some of the bigger engagements we served. I didn't realize this at the time, but the work of a sculptor is so much like that of a developing human being. If you think about it, they begin with this mass of their medium--in Rocco's case, a large block of ice. From this, a gentle and intricate form would take form as the excess was chipped away. Hope you're still with me...because this is where it gets so good.

We're all pretty much born with the same "stuff"--our medium. As life progresses, though, we gently begin to chip away at the layers of stuff that we consider excess or irrelevant to us. And right now, in my present situation, I really feel that that is what's a huge part of my daily job. I mean, sure, I'm working at Borders and going to school, but I'm also putting together my self (and that is supposed to be two words). I just love discovering new stuff about myself...likes, dislikes, talents, wells of emotion and stuff. It's just a cool thing to investigate yourself every once in awhile...I definitely recommend it.

In connection with this tangent, I have to throw out the highlights of my day. I worked the day away, shelving and such, at Borders. Highlight #1? My new-found friend (and what a perfect friend she is), Sara, made a pit stop at Borders while I was on my dinner break. It's great to find myself already so accustomed to her wonderfully kind and warm Midwestern intonation...funny how this world connects people who would not have otherwise met. Which takes me to my closing detail.

Highlight #2: I met a great customer tonight, named Kimberly, who grew up in Pittsburgh. And she gave me the best compliment. She was looking for this yoga book on meditations and stuff...she wanted multiple copies to share it with others, so I did some calling to other stores and stuff to attain her copies for her. As I called like the third place, she told me that my kindness reminded her of the friendly people from "our region." Not to bash the Main Line in Philadelphia, but the naturally friendly tend to lack in the area at times. People are just a bit more distant here...not all of them, to be fair. But, I would say that's one of the big things that delineates my hometown from here. In any case, I find that to be one of my favorite parts of my sculpture...I want to be that person who makes someone feel good in the day as much as possible. Can you think of many things that make you feel the same way as helping another? Hmmm...I'll have to brainstorm on that one. In any case, it was refreshing to 1)come into contact with someone who knows home, and 2)have someone appreciate kindness as not all do.

I'm off to pack for a weekend at home. I will keep the blog up, though, so stay tuned!

Ode to Molly

I cannot fail to highlight one person (or dog in this case)each week who has made my move to Philadelphia a very pleasant and rewarding one. For this week, I have chosen Molly, who is Madonna's 10-year-old Australian Shepherd.

How has Molly been able to help you ask? Well, let me begin by saying that for that endless number of very lonely days that I initially spent here at home (that I actually yearn for occasionally at this busy point in life), she remained loyal by occupying the very spot she's in in the picture at the top of the blog. I would sit reading, and she would flop down on the floor, planting herself there for a restful day. So, that was Molly's emotional contribution...

She also encouraged a bit of physical activity as she would interpret some of my moves around the house as playful dog behavior; thus, she would begin doing laps around the coffee table in the living room, barking like a crazy dog. I'm pretty sure that no human being, at heart, can relate to such a gesture. I mean, sometimes we just want to play...right? Best of all, though, she didn't push the whole exertion issue...this whole episode usually wouldn't last more than about 30 seconds, or a minute on good days. Nonetheless, she was a great playmate.

Finally, she totally accompanied me (and still does) on every adventure to the kitchen. While I know in my heart that she was just hoping I'd be a big softy and give her a treat, I'd like to believe she understood the need for companionship/company for meals. So, I would heat up or make a meal for myself (or some vague form of a meal), and she would take in her delectible bowl of dog food.

This marks the end of the first friend spotlight on my blog...just think of where it can go from here if this is just the dog in my life!!! And I can't forget to remind you that blogging is a very self-absorped sort of activity...so while these highlights are about others in my life, I think you will see that this is only a celebration of how others (humans and animals) serve me! [I only mean this half-heartedly :)].

Falvey Library

It's a truly incredible phenomena how a day can be such an unproductive one, then I step foot in the Falvey Library on Villanova's campus, and I'm suddenly on intellectual fire!

So, the day started with a very long chat with my mother. It always does me so good to reconnect with my roots. Sometimes, you just need to purge yourself of all of those crazy thoughts that others may hold against you...and you're almost guaranteed to make it out okay if you do that with one who understands the context. For me, that's my mother. She's like the history textbook of the Chase family...and I was one of the chapters today. She opened right to it, and she helped me understand myself better--which is always nice.

Then, as a bunch of men cut down very large towering trees a couple feet from my room, I got my laundry done for the week. After showering and stuff, I headed out to get some reading done. On my way from Falvey to Borders, I made a caffeine pit stop...had a sugar-free caramel latte, and it was just what the moment called for. Spent most of the evening mingling with my Borders co-workers and shelving, which happens to be my new favorite hobby. It's a physical activity with books that you just don't get in reading them. After work, it was off to Sara's to learn the ways of a pro blogger. As she began the lesson, she treated me to some outstanding kisch, and we both indulged in a cookie from Hope's cookies in Bryn Mawr.

After struggling to work my way through the steps, I managed to just change the photo in my profile. The person with me in the picture is my closest friend from Wheeling, Kelly Strautmann. All I can say is you're meant to meet certain people in your life--and Kelly is one of those for me.

To close (and most reading this will totally read through this code talk), I think I'm realizing that all is going to be okay. Without those whom I'm constantly leaning on, I wouldn't be working through this though, so thank you...as St. Augustine appropriately observes, "It was well said that a friend is half of one's own soul." And you all do my soul so much good...

One Down, One to Go!

That would be one night of class down and one to go for the week! Probably not so healthy that I so look forward to getting these nights over with, but I'm still in the very overwhelmed stage of graduate studies. But, I don't think it's all about the graduate studies...I actually think it's a crossroads. You know, the "what am I supposed to be doing with my life?" Thankfully, though, I realize that moving (especially for the first time), jumping into graduate school, a new job, etc., can all be a very destabilizing experience. So, I'm trying to remind myself daily that this really isn't about me...it's about surviving a naturally stressful time. Regardless, searching for one's niche in life can be a daunting task--the choices are so plentiful and time seems so short. Anyhow, now that I worked through that tangent...

The day started off very nice. I got up, finished one of my reading assignments, shuffled off to pick Sara up, and we went to our new favorite place to hang out--Gryphon Cafe. We had our Monday morning coffee and chat, and then skipped off to finish our day's duties. I spent all day trying to read up for classes tonight and to get ahead so that I can enjoy my trip home. But, part of me dreads having to go home--not because I don't want to, but because I hate having to say goodbye over and over again. I stay in close touch with everyone, but I feel like we get together when I'm home, they prod for the details of my new life, I acquiesce with their requests, then the time's up. What I miss most is that daily contact with everyone...the normal contact that people residing in the same town tend to have. (Since I'm 99.9% sure Sara will be a reader, I have to add at this point that I am establishing that here now...which has made things seem less like a "visitor" state). It's just sort of a weird juncture...I miss home (Wheeling), but it's not exactly home any longer--it's a vacation spot--and it no longer feels like my permanent home. Philly, on the other hand, is not completely home yet, so I feel like the Catholic in limbo (except it's Wheeling and Philly rather than heaven and hell--details, details).

Despite my plans to go home after class (thus the lack of proper attire and even a purse), Hope and Karen convinced me to go out to Gullifty's after class. Had the pleasure of seeing Sara and meeting her friend, Rhiannon, who is on a short visit. But, because I lacked I.D., Karen had to order my beer for me--talk about a blast from the past!

Last bit, then I will call it a night. What I miss, probably most, from home would be the two kids. Each night before bed, I have to listen to Sydni's recording of "You are my Sunshine" that's on my cell phone (pathetic, yes...adorable, of course). And Seth is now beginning to do caveman grunts for me on the telephone. But, I'm only days away from being with them both, which is swell, so I thought I'd share a picture of my two favorite pieces of the universe (at the top of the blog). It's the two of them on the church steps after Seth's baptism this past August. Ahhh...the memories.

At a pub in Stillorgan, Dublin, with Ireland buddy, Mikey Quinn.

Beginnings

Beginnings are always a little awkward. A moment of chaos really. Out of an infinite number of details, one must choose just a few on which to concentrate. As a result, I can't exactly sum up the last couple months of my life right now...but if you check back, I promise to allude to them occasionally...so, you should totally think of this as the newest form of the Nancy Drew mysteries. I have total confidence that you will piece it all together--eventually.

I'm going to begin with this past weekend, so let me briefly outline a cast of characters. The Borders crew will encapsulate a large number of individuals, but I'll try to only drop those names in context. More importantly, however, you must be familiar with Madonna (the fantastic lady from whom I'm renting my place), Karen and Hope (class buddies), and Sara and Tim (social buddies).

After many initial weeks of shock and loneliness, this weekend helped make Philadelphia (or at least Bryn Mawr and the surrounding suburbs) feel like home. I got to do a few of my most favorite things--eat, shop, be outdoors, and drink. Even better, I got to do so with a fabulous new friend of mine...Sara. Sara hails from the Midwest (originally North Dakota, later Iowa), but she thankfully settled here in Philly at the same time as I chose to. And we met as a result of our hirings at Borders--I'm a bookseller and she works on the inventory team. We have both decided that we have got to be two of the most awesome in the store, but I guess we're a little bias in our observations.

Anyhow...Friday was a late night of Borders work, so it was pretty uneventful. Saturday, however, was a completely different story. I just have to mention that I have not been out of bed before 8:30-9:00 on hardly any occasions since my move. So, I think it was such a good effort on my part to get up at the absurd hour of 7am in order to get ready, make an emergency CVS run, call Mom, and prepare for the departure. Sara and I left, headed for Joe's Restaurant, a very popular breakfast place in Wayne. But, between Sara's aversion to feelings of claustrophobia and mine to the aroma of stinky person, we migrated down the road to Minella's Diner. After a delicious breakfast and great conversation, we left for Target on a mission to clean up the responsibility area. Once through with that, we headed for Valley Forge in order to take advantage of the nature/walking trails on a beautiful October day. Between the sunshine and the wildlife (mainly deer, but I'm convinced there had to be some eight-legged freaks surrounding us), the "hike" was a success. Some would totally not call it a hike...I, however, am very proud to do so.

After that, we went to a coffeehouse in Wayne, called Gryphon. What wonderful food and coffee was hiding there!!! I indulged in some triple mousse cake and a Sumatra blend coffee, and I've never experienced quite the same sensation in my mouth before. Chocolate and coffee has a way with me. In any case, minus a few other stops, we ended up back at Sara and her husband, Tim's, apartment, which is a wonderfully cozy place to hang out. After a brief rest, checking into the details of blood pudding, we set to work making the exploded chicken pizza and buffalo chicken pizza that would be dinner. The latter ended up a little too spicy for Sara and I, but the former was excellent, especially with the Yuengling beer that we chose as the evening's beverage. We spent the rest of the evening playing Scrabble (what a great time) and faux karaoke-ing. We have big plans to blitz Philadelphia with our (well, only Sara's are confirmed, but I think there may be an inkling of it in me) karaoke skills. Life is so much better when there are great people around to share it with.

I must close for now because I feel as though this blog is already too long. But, now that I can update day-to-day, you will no longer be subjected to such long entries. Thank Sara for the blog suggestion! More later...